


Will You Stay?

by DrCormier



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: A little angst, F/F, Mental Illness, but ill try to make it fluffy, cosima is a patient, delphine is a doctor, i hope you will like it, many more will be added not something awesome but later it's gonna be better, nothing new, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-07-18 14:18:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7318627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrCormier/pseuds/DrCormier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Delphine Cormier is working in mental hospital now. She's broken, sad and lonely. Hazel eyes don't recongize her sometimes. Dreads are flat. Smile is rare as she comes to her. Is it gonna be better? Maybe sometimes you just have to believe and the beautiful day will come again?</p>
<p>Both women are living in San Francisco after all events with clones. After Cosima was cured along with Charlotte, Rachel was found and destroyed and everything ended, sisters with their families can finally live peacefully. Unfortunately, one cheeky sister didn't end up well.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Hello, dr. Leblanc.", I said to my collegue with funny voice and light smile. That was all I could do when it's about happiness. Short, curly red hair danced around her round face as she turned around to the source of my voice. She saw me standing right behind her. 

"Oh, hi, dr. Cormier.", she smiled and replied with the same cheekiness. "You're early today."

"Oui, I know.", I sighed, while I was putting  files in my shelf. We both shared the office in Mayfield Mental Care Center in San Francisco. "I just, I want to check on her. I want to be the first person she sees today.", I lowered my head in sadness, but Aurora noticed it immidiately and rushed to hug me.

"Delphine. Everything is gonna be okay...", she only whispered, because what else could she say?

"Oui. It is gonna be okay... Aurora, two years passed."

This time she didn't reply. I knew and I wasn't mad. Nobody knew what to say. You're probably wondering what's going on, why am I working in mental hospital and where the hell is everybody, hm? D'accord. I will tell you everything.  But before the long story, let me tell you one thing. I stopped to believe in the happy ending in my life. Why? Because everyday I'm looking in those brown eyes behind thick trimmed glasses and I see endless sadness. I don't know anymore if those are her eyes or mine in her eyeglasses' reflection. It's hard to say that, when everything around you is melancholy and constant sorrow.

Till this day, nobody knows what exactly happened to Cosima. She didn't get crazy just like that. She didn't kill anybody or attack suddenly. No. She got better after the cure, she survived. After that, we came back to San Francisco, to normal life and we even decided to live together.  One month was perfect and then, after that one month of happiness, something happened with her.

 

_"Cosima, it's 9 o'clock. You're gonna be late for work.", I kissed her cheek softly and looked at her pretty face. Cosima's dreads were all over the pillow._

_"I'm not going anywhere.", she said and then turned to the wall, not even looking at me. I got upset._

_"Cosima! You know it's not easy to live in beautiful loft when only one person is working.", I said firmly, taking the covers off of her small body. She immidiately jumped and looked at me with fury in her eyes._

_"What the fuck do you think you're doing?! Give me this right now!", she screamed loudly. I took a step back, I saw her like that for the first time. She never screamed like that. Ever._

_"Cosima! Stop yelling at me, what are you doing?! ", I yelled back._

_"It's not your fucking buissness. Leave me the fuck alone! I don't want to talk to you!"_

_After her last words, I burst into tears and left the house. I didn't know where to go. I was broken._

 

I shaked my head, trying to leave those flashbacks behind me. If I only knew then. If I only knew what I know right now. Maybe everything would be different. Maybe she would be better by now. But I didn't know. 

I looked around the office. Aurora was already gone. I blacked-out again. I didn't even know when she left. I grabbed my curly hair, now long and wild and form them in a ponytail. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. I looked nothing like before. Even on the island I looked better. This time makeup wasn't helping at all. I could put tons of it on my face. But nothing could change my face expression - constant sadness. 

 

_"Mon amour?", I went to the house, calling my girlfriend. She should have been at home by that hour. I was always the one who stayed up late at work. Nothing. I put keys and purse on the table next to the door and took off my coat._

_I went to the kitchen, put the kettle on and washed my hands. Suddenly, I hear some rumble upstairs. First the small one, then the huge, loud one. I got scared and rushed to the bedroom. I knew she was there. What I saw there was terrible._

_"Cosima!", I screamed, coming forwards the bed. She laid there, in the bed, crying like crazy with blood all over her one hand. "Cosima, mon amour! What happened?"_

_"Delphine, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. What's going on with me?!", my love sobbed and looked at me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. All I knew was that I have to be strong for her._

_"Baby, what did you do with your hand? It's broken. I think it's broken. I need to call the hospital.", I whispered. It was so quiet I was pretty sure she didn't hear it. But then she sighed._

_"Okay, Delphine..."_

I stopped looking at the window. I caught myself again on thinking back. Why am I even coming back to those memories? I don't understand... I decided to get busy with my work. To be honest, I fell in the work too. I mean, after all what immunologist can do in a mental hospital? I was grateful I met Aurora. She got me this job, I just wanted to be closer to Cosima. I was in charge of all documents, I was giving medicines to patients and also, sometimes I was working in the lab when I was needed. When you think about that, it's even better than some weird, secret human cloning. 

When I found out Cosima is sick, I had to do everything to be with her. After all those years of looking after each other, hurting each other and not being with each other, I couldn't lose her again. She was my biggest love. No matter what people thought. It's sadly funny how her family became convinced my love just when Cosima got worse. After all this shit, they noticed then.

 

_"It's Posttraumatic Stress Disodrder. PTSD.", dr. Leblanc said to us. We both were sitting in front of her, both holding hands. Cosima was better after that one horrible night. She still had plaster on her wrist and dark circles under her eyes, but I think she was better._

_"What? Are you serious?", I asked. "Oh Merde...", I whispered. Cosima didn't say anything. She looked at dr. Leblanc and then looked at the ground._

_Of course I knew what PTSD was. A mental disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to a traumatic event. Hm, traumatic event? Let's see. Finding out that you're a clone. Falling in love with the person that betrayed you. Trying to trust her again and again. Finding out you're very, very sick and you might die, because you don't know what it is. Being lied all the time. Trying to trust again. Being left by the love of your life, because she has to protect you and your family. Being kidnapped. Looking at your original's death. Having near death experiance. Thinking the love of your life is dead. Looking for her, searching her. Finally finding her on some island. Fighting for your own live all the time..._

_And it wasn't over. Cosima went through all of it and right now she had PTSD. I couldn't believe what I just heard._

_"Ms. Niehaus. Can I talk to your partner, please?", dr. Leblanc asked the younger woman. I squeezed her hand before she got up and left the office. "Ms. Cormier... I'm not gonna lie to you. It's bad. Cosima has all symptoms. I'm not gonna ask what she has been through, because I know it might be private..."_

_"Yes, dr. Leblanc."_

_"Please, call me Aurora.", she smiled lightly. "After she hurt herself... I think she should stay here in the center. We will take care of her and we will do everything to help her.", she said. Oh mon Dieu._

_"But... Aurora, it's 100 miles away from our house... I can't. I just cannot live without her.", I couldn't stop myself anymore. I just burst into tears. I was crying, and crying and crying and I didn't know how much time passed. Maybe 5 minutes. Maybe half an hour._

_"Delphine, listen to me. You will figure this out. Please, take my advice. Please."_

 

There I am. Working in the mental hospital where Cosima lives. We moved out stuff to the smaller flat near the center. Cosima agreed for everything. We had better moments, but there were so rare that I didn't believe in them anymore. She was trying to break up with me, just leave me, because she tought she is wasting my life. She was breaking my heart when she was saying those words. But half of me understood my love. Would I do the same thing if I had that disorder? 

 

_"Sarah. It's done. Do you understand me? It's done.", I said firmly, looking at my love's sister. Brit looked at me back and sighed._

_"Delphine. You don't have to do that. It's not like she is your bloody wife. You don't have to have wasted life. We can take care of her.", she said._

_"oh mon Dieu. Sarah, ami, I love her. I know you still don't trust me and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you don't trust me, but I love her. I love her."_

_"Listen to me.", she grabbed my shoulder but I took a step back. Felix looked at both of us but he didn't say anything. "It's gonna be hard. Are you ready for this? Are you ready to give up your life and just take care of her?"_

_"Yes. I am ready. I am gonna do everything for her."_

_"Okay. Then we all will help you."_

 

You can say that PTSD is not so serious. That it passes after some time. Well, it's half true. It does pass, but we never know when exactly. It can be after two months, half a year, and longer. When it's about Cosima, two years already passed. One year and nine months since she started treatment and therapy sessions. Nothing helped. Not medicines, not doctors, nothing. She's still depressed, she still talks about death, she is empty and sad. 

I'm there with her almost every day. She got her own room. It's unusual, but Aurora decided that it's gonna be the best for her. Where Cosima is, on open psychiatric ward, not everything is so restricted like on the close ward. She can go outiside whenever she wants, but she avoids it. Cosima seems like she is scared. And I'm here wishing sometimes I could take her to the flat, on a lunch or to the cinema.

Great relief for me is to have Cosima's family. I myself don't have almost anybody. They are visiting me almost every weekend. And I'm not alone anymore. They are making me laugh and maybe that is the one thing that keeps me alive. Ms. S. treats me like daugther. It's funny how I think about the times two and a half years ago and looking back then, she hated me. And now, she's calling me almost everyday.

It was 10 a.m. I decided to go to my love already. I was nervous like everyday. I didn't know what mood she will wake up with. I was always the one who was giving Cosima medicines. I didn't want anybody else to do that. I missed her so much you cannot imagine. 

I went to the open ward and looked for room no. 235. I knew doors would be opened. Cosima never closed it for the night. It wasn't neccesary. I went inside and looked at the room. She was already sitting on the bed, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh my God, Delphine!", she screamed with happiness and rushed towards me. She threw herself on me and I was the happiest woman in that moment. When I felt her smell and soft skin, I hugged her tight, holding her like that for about 5 minutes.

"Baby... I missed you. I missed you so much...", she whispered with tears in her eyes when we already sat on the bed. 

"Cosima, I know. I missed you too.", I replied to her, kissing the top of her head. "How are you, mon amour?"

"I... I don't know Delphine. I don't know how am I...", Cosima whispered to me with endless sadness. My heart was broken. I barely held million tears inside me. I wanted to cry, but I knew I have to be strong. 

I couldn't tell her anything either. Since she was patient, I could tell her what's going on in general, but not in details. She wasn't asking too, because Cosima knew it's not good. Sometimes I wonder if it changes. Me being her doctor. Her being my patient. I just want her to be my girlfriend, my love. 

"Aw, mon amour. You know, I love you?", I said, looking into her eyes. She smiled lightly and then leaned into my direction. Her head was on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her small form. She lost even more weight here, in hospital. 

"I love you too, Delphine.", she said. "I guess you're here to give me my meds, huh?"

"Oui.", I replied shortly. I took two portions of Zoloft and gave it to her. I reached for a cup with water too. 

My petite woman swallowed pills and then drank a little water. She hated that part. She hated pills and therapy sessions. She was tired. But Cosima also knew it's the only thing she can do. After taking medicines, she went back to my chest. I smelled her scent and closed my eyes. Those moments were precious. When I could just hold her. I started swaying her back and forth like a little child, humming french music. Cosima moaned and then looked up at me.

"What, mon amour?"

"Will you stay with me?", she asked sweetly. I sighed. I had million things to do today. Sacrifice was huge. But I could do that for the rest of my life if that's the case. I smiled to her lightly.

"I will stay...", I replied. Although I knew I will have to go when she falls asleep again. My Cosima.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hello! Guys, I'm so sorry, I haven't written this piece for so long. But! I have an explanaiton. I went on two months' vacation to my amazing fiancee Cristina, to LA. As you can see, despite Cosima, long distance relationship can work. I mean, Poland and LA are ocean's apart. And we met thanks to Cophine! Can it be any more better?
> 
> Okay, enough about my private bullshit. I miss Cris like crazy andd this piece of work keeps me busy. The second chapter is coming.

The phone woke me up. I opened my sleepy, tired eyes and reached out onto the red-ish bedside cabinet. 

"Cormier here.", I said with raspy voice. I cleared my throat.

"It's Aurora. You need to come to the hospital. Now!", her friend screamed to the phone. Cosima!

"Wait, what? What's going on, ami?!", I was freaking out. What else can it be than my love?

"Cosima is gone."

Those three words were enough. I jumped out of my bed, I didn't even wear my normal clother. I just went straight to the car. I was driving as a maniac, but honestly, I didn't care at all. After all, it was already 4 a.m. There were almost no cars on the roads. Only Cosima was on my mind. She is the one who counts. Sometimes I couldn't stop thinking about out old times, after all this thing with clones. This short moment of happiness was my best time. I"ve never been happier. But now was now. Cosima is gone and I needed to find her. 

"Delphine, here!", as I crossed the entrance, I heard Aurora's voice calling me. 

"God, Aurora, what happened?", I couldn't hold it anymore, I bursed into tears and threw my aching body into my friends's. Readhead woman hugged me tight.

"She... I went to her room, to check on her. I have night shift. And she was just gone. As soon as I get my phone,I called you Delphine. I'm sorry.", I heard Aurora'a sob andI automatically stopped myself from breaking down. She felt so bad. But it wasn't her fault at all. And I had a feeling where Cosima might be.

"It's not your fault, Aurora. It's okay. It's all okay. I think I know where she is. It's gonna be okay.", I whispered to my friend. She looked at me and then smiled lightly. 

I left Aurora in her office and myself, I reached the highest level of the hospital - roof. The door was opened, just as I thought. The area was huge and I knew I'm not gonna find Cosima so quick.

"Cosima! Cosima, mon amour!", I started calling her name. After five minutes, she finally poked her head above a small counter, next to the edge. I smiled lightly and came forward her. I hugged her tightly and wiped her fresh tears.

"Delphine..."

"Shh, it's okay. You're safe. You didn't... Try...", I started.

"No, no. No. I didn't. And I won't, baby.", she calmed me down. Even thinking about her, jumping, made me sick. "I'm sorry, Delphine. I'm sorry you were worried."

"Me?", I looked at her and smiled. "I worried at the beginning, but when Aurora told me what happened, I knew where you are. But she was freaking out. You need to apologize to her, mon amour.", I kissed her forehead. I held her in my arms, her head on my shoulder, my head on hers. We were looking at the view of beautiful San Francisco. Cosima knew this view by heart, I was sure. 

"You know, babe, I love this place. When I'm lookin at the  houses, tall buildings and dark sky with beautiful stars, I almost forget about the fact that I'm in the mental hospital."

"Cosima... You know you can live with me, I to-", I started but she cut me off.

"Angel, no. You know my answer. I can't let you live with me. This me. Horrible me. I don't want you to go through this again. And I'm scared... What if I said yes and then in couple months, you would start.... Falling out of love with me?", she said, looking at me with this sad, beautiful eyes. I stroked her cheek, then nose and went lower to her soft lips. Those were the most amazing, exquisite lips I've ever seen, touch and stroked.

"Cosima..."

"No. I know what you want to say. I can't... It's...", her voice started to break. "I can't. Not till I'm better. Please, Delphine."

"Okay. Oui, mon amour.", I nodded with tears in my eyes and huge grip in my throat. She was better that night. Calmer. Like old Cosima.

"But I'm kinda glad you came. That Aurora called you.", she grinned. I poked her in the shoulder with playful way and then wrapped my arms all over her. I smelled her scent and sighed deeply.

"I know. Me too, Cosima. Me too.", I said.

"And... I think I want you to take me home. For that one night, please. Night and day.", Cosima smiled and I couldn't belive my own ears!

"What? Are you sure?", I smiled.

"Yeah. I feel better today. I wanna be with you and friends. It's gonna be okay.", Cosima nodded and I was the happiest person in that moment. 

After half an hour, we went to the first floor, to Aurora's office. When our friend saw us, she yelled at Cosima nad then hugged her. She didn't have a problem with my love coming with me. She actually thought it's a great idea. I took some of my girlfriend's stuff and we went to the car.

"Welcome home, my love.", I opened the door for her. Once she stepped inside, Cosima threw herself on me, kissing and touching my skin. I didn't pull her away from me. I am only a human! And she was so intense that I was just amazed, giving her little touches back, filling her alabster skin next to mine. She stopped though. Only for a moment. I was already in my bra, she was too. We both were standing in the middle of the living room. She looked at me, I looked at her. Lonely tears escaped from her eye, I wiped it right away. Right then, there was no time for tears.

"You didn't change anything.", she whispered, looking around while I rushed to the kitchen for wine. Cosima shouldn't drink, because of her medicines, but... This was only this one time.

"Of course I didn't. How can I? I want everything to be just like you remember, mon amour.", I smiled lightly, leading her upstairs, to our bedroom. How good it was to say _our bedroom._ You have no idea how happy I was in that moment. She was herself. Just like that - thinner, paler, but herself.

"Oh man. This bedroom, I haven't seen this bedroom for so long.", Cosima sighed. She took my hand in hers and pulled me to herself. I reached out for her warm skin and didn't want to let go.

This night was one of the best nights. I felt, I made sure, that deep in the heart, Cosima is still the same. She's just sick. And even after all this time, suddenly, I got some hope that everything is gonna be okay. She still made me hot, she still made me lose my mind. Unbelievable girl, that's what I knew. 

I was sleeping deeply, holding her tight in my embrance when I felt her shaking. I immidiately opened my eyes and saw her crying. Just like that. 

"Mon amour... What's going on?", I whispered to her ear. She turned to me. Her sad face broke my heart. I guess one night of happiness was too much to me...

"I wanna be healthy Delphine. I wanna stay with you without thinking about past...", she was sobbing so hard and I felt helplessness wrapping its paws around me. 

"Cosima, everything is gonna be okay. You will be out..."

"When, baby? When? Everytime when I think is better, the next day is horrible. I can't stop thinking about past, about Dyad, about all this shit. I see Kendall Malone, burning alive in my head. Delphine, she was burnt alive! And you, you... I thought you're dead for so long... ", something broke inside her. And I couldn't do anything else. I was holding her while she was talking. 

"You... I missed you so much. I thought I lost my heart. And then, I had this critical moment. If Felix didn't call me, if he didn't tell me you're alive, I would be... I almost... All of it is in my head and it appears suddenly. Delphine, what should I do?", she cried.

"Cosima. Cosima, look at me, cherie.", she did what she was asked for. I took her head between my hands. "You're gonna continue taking meds. You're gonna see me everyday. You're gonna fight this. All of it is past. I'm all yours, for you. Your parents are here. Ms. S moved here. You're gonna see your sisters tomorrow. Everything is gonna be okay. I promise, angel.", I kissed the top of her head.

She was sobbing for a while after the talk, but soon, she fell asleep. I joined her. While she was dreaming, I had heavy heart,

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter. Man, it's going so slowly. I mean, I have so many other ideas, fluffy ideas, that it's just sad writing this story. But I hate leaving this unfinished soooo... I'm gonna definitely finish it. Thank you for my reading. If you like the chapter or you guys have some prompts, leave me a comment!

"Oh my God... Chicken, what are you doing here?", I heard Ms. S and smiled. I still couldn't believe older British moved here. I went downstairs, to Cosima and Siobhan. She hugged me and then looked at me with the questions in her wise eyes. I only nodded, trying to tell her that we are going to talk about it later. Siobhan smiled to me.

"Delphine, thank you so much for letting everybody know.", Cosima smiled warmly. I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her waist. Only this counted, her mood. If she was happy, I was happy too. 

"No problem, mon amour. Sarah and Felix are coming too.", I smiled lightly, making coffee in the kitchen. 

"What? No way!"

"Way, chicken.", Ms. S laughed at Cosima's excitement. "They couldn't miss it. As soon as I called them with the good message, they found the flight and they are coming here."

"I can't believe it. Thank you guys so much. Ms. S, don't stop with this chicken, you know.", Cosima smiled and I could only watching her. I went to them with coffee, tea and small breakfast. I sat next to my love and kissed her cheek.

"Remember about the meds, mon amour. After the breakfast.", I looked at her with care. She smiled lightly and kissed my lips.

"I know, Delphine. I remember.", she only said.

Being a part of this weird although very loving family was a strange feeling. They didn't accept me for a long time. Even after the camp, saving Sarah and coming back, completely healthy with everybody. They still didn't think back then that I'm doing all of that to protect all of them. Then Cosima got sick. When they saw determination in my eyes, when I gave up on everything only to be with her, they finally understood. It's funny, the whole situation. I really had to give up on everything. I had Dyad money, Cosima had Dyad money so working in the mental hospital wasn't so bad. After my decision, I had long conversation with Ms. S. She was the first one who finally talked to me warmly, without talking about the past.

I looked at her with smile in my eyes, I looked how she got older after all this time. Her hair was long, two, thick braids made her look like bad ass. Flannel, checkered shirt looked good on her. She felt my sight and smiled. Sarah was second. After that one conversation, after she saw I'm never gonna leave Cosima, she changed her behaviour towards me. She calls me almost every day, asking for Cosima and also, for me. With Alison and Helena I almost didn't talk. The first one was still distant yet polite. Helena? Oh Mon Dieu. After calling me _Sestra Golden Hair_ and showing her approval, she didn't talk to me since. The hardest thing was with Felix. He still doesn't like me. At first I was very nervous about it. Then Ms. S told me to stop dwelling this whole hate thing. I gave up. He tolerates me, I tolerate him. Je ne vais pas renoncer à Cosima et il le sait.

"Honey, I think she fell asleep.", I heard Siobhan's voice, I shook my head. I didn't know how long I had been engrosed with my thoughts. I looked at brunette, took the blanket and covered her.

"Thank you, Siobhan. Did she take the meds?"

"Yes, chicken. I gave it to her.", she nodded.

"Je suis désolé. I was... I started thinking and I lost track of time.", I apologized. We left Cosima in the room and went to the kitchen table. I wanted her to have piece before her siblings was about to come.

"It's all okay, Del.", I smiled lightly. They started calling me Del. "You're not okay."

That wasn't question. That was a statement. What was I supposed to say? I'm a wreck of human? I wish it already ended? I wish Cosima was always here?

"I'm... It's not the worst Siobhan.", I muttered under my nose.

"Delphine.", she just knew.

"D'accord, d'accord. I'm... I'm tired. I'm a mess. I want this to be end. See? That's why I didn't want to tell you.", I felt tears in my eyes. I turned around to the sink, trying to pull myself together. "It hurts me. It hurts me, because I know how horrible it sounds. I just... I want her to be happy. I want her to be... To forget. At least try to forget, like us."

I felt Siobhan's hands on my shoulder. She made me turn to her and she hugged me.

"Don't cry, child. You have my back. You always have my back. Everything is gonna be okay, Delphine.", Ms. S stroked my hair. "She's strong woman, Del. She's gonna fight it. I know it's already two years. I know. But she will do it. I believe in it.", I finally looked at her.

"Do you think so?"

"I'm sure.", she smiled.

"Thank you, Siobhan. Thank you so much.", I replied.

"No, chicken. Thank you. I actually owe you an apology. After all this time... I'm sorry Delphine. I'm sorry that it took me so long to finally trust you. You didn't do anything wrong. Well, you did, but it was never on purpose. You never betrayed us after this whole thing with Leekie. I should have known. I am a mother. I should have known...", Siobhan lowered her head and looked at the ground. She was ashamed. 

"S, it was long time ago.", I said, touching her shoulder. "I know. I know. You helped me so much since then. It's all good right now. It's all good.", I repeated. I saw tears in her eyes. Moment later we were both crying. She hugged me tight and didn't let go till we calmed down.

 

*

 

"Oi, oi, Ms. S!", I smiled, hearing her voice. When Sarah saw me, she smiled wide and hugged me. "Oi, Frenchie! Too long, huh?"

"It feels like it. Come on in. Cosima is still sleeping, but waking her up with all of you is gonna be the best.", I said.

"Hello, Delphine.", Felix nodded and shook my hand. Siobhan shook her head along with rolling her eyes but didn't say anything. 

"Bonsoir, Felix. It's nice to see you.", I still smiled.

"Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same thing about you, darling.", he scoffed. "Ouch! Calm your horses down, Sarah!"

"Then stop treating he' like that!", she yelled at him. 

I went to the living room, check on Cosima. I wanted to wake her up. I hovered over her and kissed her forehead. 

"Wake up, cherie.", I whispered to her ear softly, stroking her cheek.

"Mhmmmh... Delphine?", she opened her eyes. First she saw me, kissed me and then looked behind me. She sat up immidiatelly, jumped on Sarah and then hugged Felix.

"Holy watershed! I can't believe you guys are friggin' here!"

"Yeah, well. Frenchie called us and we couldn't miss it.", Sarah said. "Wow, Cos, you look way better."

"Thanks, sestra.", I watched her smiling and I couldn't stop smiling myself. That was one of the best weekends since a long, long time. I knew seeing her family would be the greatest idea. "Del, come here. I want to have you close."

"Don't worry, go.", Siobhan said, when I looked at her hestinantly. "I will take booze and order something to eat. You will not have to do anything, chicken.", I nodded gratefully towards woman and came to my Cosima.

"There you are. Don't dissapear like that, baby.", she said sweetly and then kissed me.

"Oh my... I'm gonna throw up... Ouch! Sarah, stop doing this!", he rubbed his arm after Sarah punched him.

"Then stop being such an arse, man!"

"God, Fe! Are you still not cool with the Goddess?", Cosima laughed when she looked at me. I blushed more than my burgund blouse.

"Oi! It's not that I'm not cool. It's just I don't think our Frenchie is completely clear already."

"Felix, I can assure you that no matter what you think of me, you're not gonna be dissapointed.", I said calmly. Despite Cosima's will to stay with her, I kissed her and excused myself. I wanted to give them some "sibling" time before I will have her all to myself. There both were staying in Ms S's flat, so I knew me and Cosima were gonna have our night.

I sat at the kitchen table with laptop and work papers. I also wrote to Aurora. I told her not to worry about anything. She wished me good luck. I sighed and finished all raports for work. I heard whispers and a lot of laughter. I knew Cosima had the best time. 

"How are you doing, love?", Ms. S checked on me. Always. I knew I can count on her. She was so like my mother. It was good to have someone like that after my parents died in a car accident. 

"It's okay. I just finished work. How's Cosima, Siobhan?"

"She's happy. More than ever. I'm glad she stayed over the weekend.", she smiled. "She seems better."

"Oui, she does. But... it's not always like that, mon amie. Even in the night, she had a breakdown. She was talking about the Dyad, about Kendall Malone, your mom.", I whispered. I didn't want her or any of them hear me. 

"Oh my... Yes. That was one of my worst moments.", Ms. S sighed. "I brought you a drink. Still Jack and Coke?" 

"Oui, merci. Merci.", I gladly took the glass and took couple sips. 

"I actually came to talk to you about something. Do you want to take a walk downstairs? Take a drink and cigarettes."

"Siobhan!", I screamed playfully. "Are you smoking?"

"Believe me, what I'm about to tell you needs cigarette."

We excused the rest, I kissed Cosima and we went downstairs. In the back of the bulding where I lived, there was small garden. We sat on the bench and both lit the cigarettes. Siobhan took long, deep drag and then exhaled the smoke. 

"Listen, Del. I might know how to help Cosima. Have you heard about Malzax?", she asked.

"Um, oui. The modern medicine for depression, breakdown and... PTSD. The most evolutionaty medicine in the whole world. This thing was supposed to save million of lives, was approved by doctors and then dissapeared. The factory burned.", I continued. "Media said it was a scam. That the most powerful drug boss stole the medicine. That's all I know."

"Well, all of that is true.", Siobhan nodded and I was more and more curious. I took another cigarette from the pack. "And the best thing is, that I know person who works for him.", she said.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, so many things happened! OH MY GOD! Tatiana won EMMY!!! I was sooo happy! Who cares I was staying up all night till the 5 am in the morning (different time zone in Poland). It was sooo worth it. And also, Evelyne has her own star! That's so awesome.  
> As long as we have such a good news about the cast, this story is not that happy, but... I'm gonna do my best. And I promise you guys, there is gonna be a happy ending!  
> Okay, let's get started!

I woke up with a huge headache. Bright sun hit my sore eyes. I sqeezed it hard and rubbed with my hands. I sat up only to feel dizziness. Next to my bed I found two empty bottles after wine. 

"Did I really drink that much by myself?", I muttered under my nose. 

Cosima came back to the centre, I was in close touch with Aurora to know what's going on. I needed to take a day off. I apologized to my love, she understood but I could still see hurt in her eyes. She probably thought that I'm tired because of her. Merde... She couldn't be any more wrong. For two days since Siobhan told me about the Malzax, I've been thinking only about this. For two whole, long days, since Cosima came back to the centre, I have been fighting with myself. I did not know if I should tell Cosima. I was torn, because I knew that if I lie to her again, her family, especially Felix, will never forgive me. 

Ms. S was the only person who was on my side. She was surprising me day after day, the older woman was treating me as her own child. Maybe that's why Felix was so mean. Que devrais-je faire? What should I do?, I repeated in French in my mind.

I didn't know. I had no idea what to do. I knew only one thing - I needed to see and check on Cosima. I haven't seen her for two days and it was killing me. I took a shower, it did good to me. I felt like my body was throwing alcohol away. After shower I went to the kitchen and made protein, post-hangover banana shake. This one thing always helped me.

It didn't take long for me to be ready. I didn't need makeup, I wasn't even sure if I know how to do it anymore. I went to my car and started the engine. The traffic wasn't so bad, it was 12 p.m., noon - everybody was at work or school. it didn't take me too long to get to the center.

"Hi Aurora.", I said with light smile when I saw my redhead friend.

"Where the hell have you been so long?!", she screamed, hugged me and then, to my surprise, she punched me in my arm.

"Ouch. What was that for, mon ami?!", I looked at her with shock.

"Woman! Your love is asking about you every two hours. I know, I know... You wanted a time off. But man...", she added two last words quietly.

"Je sais. Je sais.... Je suis desole, mon ami.", I said to her. She didn't know French, but she knew what I meant.  "I'm going to her right away. And then we will go drink coffee downstairs in the restaurant.", I smiled.

"Okay dokay. Fine.", she replied. "And sorry for this punching thing.", she grinned.

I only chuckled and then went upstairs, to Cosima's room. I knocked lightly, but who else could it be? I heard footsteps and then saw the most beautiful face in the whole world.

"Oh my God! You're here, Delphine! I've missed you so much!", I heard my love's sniff and suddenly felt hot tears on my collarbones. She was crying.

"Mon amour! I missed you too.", I barely handle the balance while she was pressing towards me but my height definitely helped. "Come here, my love.", I kissed her passionately and then took her hand and led to the bed. I sat first, Cosima immidiately jumped on my lap, her face towards mine. She wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head on my chest. I heard how she was inhiling my scent. 

"I've missed you so much...", she said again, this time quieter.

"I know, mon amour. I know. I um, I had to take care of some stuff.", I said, taking her head between my hands. I looked into those beautiful, sad eyes and in that one moment, I decided. I can't keep anything else from her. "I need to talk to you, Cosima."

"Oh no. What happened, Delphine?", she asked, narrowing her eyebrows. "Honey, I know I'm a lot to handle, but please, don't leave me...", I saw tears in her eyes and I couldn't believe what she just said. Oh, my Cosima... She couldn't handle it, she burst into tears, just like that. 

"Non, non, mon amour. Oh, mon Dieu. Cosima... I would never.", I kissed the top of her head. "I would never leave you. It's about something else.", I kissed her face, her lips, her nose. I loved the scent of her skin. Not perfume, just a skin. It was the most beautiful scent in the world. After a moment, I managed to calm my love down. She blew her nose and then looked at me with watery eyes.

"Okay... What happened?"

"When Sarah and Felix were with you, I was talking to Siobhan in the kitchen. Cosima, we can fix you... You can be okay, you know?", I said with a smile. "Do you remember this whole thing with Malzax? Modern medicine for something you have?"

"Yeah, I think I do remember. What's up with that?", Cosima asked. "I thought it dissapeared. Someone stole it, didn't they?"

"Oui. They-they did. But Cosima, Ms. S, she knows someone...", I started. I looked at her face. She was focused on my words, still wrapping her arms around my waist. "And she said, that... That it's possible to... To buy it.", I finished.

"Are you serious?", Cosima asked. I saw this hope in her eyes. 

Aurora told me that she was doing better. After meeting her family, she was more focused on tasks. She had panic attack only twice and it was huge progress, believe me. I was wondering many times how would it be like if I didn't break up with her the other day in order to protect all of them. Would she be still sick? Would she be like that? I catch myself thinking about it at least once a day. But then I think that I can't do this. What happened, happened and I don't have any influence on the past, but I have on the presence and future. And I am gonna do everything it takes to fix my love, my Cosima. 

"Oui, mon amour. It's just... It's dangerous."

"No.", she replied immidiately. I sighed, because I knew it was gonna happen.

"Cos-"

"I said no!", she raised her voice and stood up. I felt like her warm was leaving my body. "What the hell are you thinking, Delphine?! Why the hell am I here, huh?", she already started and she wasn't going to stop.

"Si vou-"

"Answer the fucking question, Delphine! Go ahead! You know the answer perfectly well...", Cosima added, calmly this time. "I got here because of the past. And one of the things in the past was your dissapearing. You have no fucking idea how was that like... Thinking that you're dead, Delphine. That I might never see you again.", her voice broke. I wanted to hug her so badly. I wanted to kiss her worries and sickness away. I didn't take a step though, because I knew my partner. I knew she was gonna take the step back.

"Cosima, please...", I felt my own tears. I didn't pretend anymore. Sometimes I also had a right to be torn into pieces. "Mon amour, please... I don't know what to do anymore! I don't know! I want to help you, I want you to be healthy, to forget, to ju-", I was rambling, but she just came towards me, she knelt in front and took my hands in hers. She left small kisses on both of my hands. I stopped talking. I just stopped. Tears were still falling down my cheeks, hers too. I looked deeply in her eyes and then she leaned towards my lips and kissed me very gently. Oh mon Dieu... Her kisses were the best thing in the whole world. They could do million things - calm me down, turn me on, tease me and even hurt me. She was master of kissing. This time it wasn't different too. When she broke the kiss, I was calm, my breath was steady and tears stopped falling down.

"Delphine.", she started, sitting next to me again. "We don't need this. You can't do this to me again. What if something happens and you will stuck with those people? What if you don't come back? Please, Delphine.", she begged.

"Mon amour, I would have company..."

"No, no. Please, baby. Please. I can't lose you again. Aurora will help me. She helps me all the time. She said it's better... You know, with me. Please baby...", she said with this sad expression on her face. I was looking, sinking into those beautiful eyes and I couldn't disagree. I knew I was going to talk about it again, but not right then. 

I only nodded. She sighed with relief, I knew how much it meant to her. Mon Dieu... I will have to speak with Ms. S. Maybe she would convince Cosima. I am not gonna give up if I'm so close with this.

"Je t'aime, Cosima.", I whispered. She looked up at me with shy smile. "I love you more than you can imagine.", I added.

She crashed her lips towards mine, I didn't even have a chance to react. Not that I had to react differently. I didn't stop her. I needed her. Her warmth, her skin and scent were the ones I needed in that one moment.

I moaned into her lips when I felt her cold hands under my black blouse. She smiled, I could feel it. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her even closer. She felt so petite, so thin in my embrance. I wanted to show her that she is not alone. I wanted to assure her that I got her back. 

When she felt my embrance, she hovered over me, making me lay down. Her lips were all over me - kissing, licking and sucking. I felt her. I knew she wanted me. And I didn't want to stop her. 

"Take off your blouse.", Cosima ordered. Oh mon Dieu, Cosima... Her tone turned me on even more. She knew how much I loved it. I did what she was asked for, I took it off, showing my love a lace, black bra. "You are so hot, Delphine.", she whispered with raspy voice. I shivered, hearing that.

"Are the doors locked?", I asked, taking her shirt off as well. I didn't waste the time. 

She only nodded and then she came back to kissing me. This time, she led her path to my neck. I moaned, digging my nails into her skin on the bag. The neck was so sensitive. She started sucking into it. I knew there was gonna be a blood mark and honestly? I didn't care. She made me arch my back and then she undid my bra. 

I wanted her. I wanted to be inside of her beautiful body. I didn't matter in that moment. All I wanted was to give Cosima pleasure. I wanted to hear her scream. I quickly turned to the left side, hearing her dissapointment. Moment later, I hovered over her, my leg was high between her thighs. Cosima wore only shorts so I could feel her wetness on my thigh. I groaned, kissing her lips to the blood.

"Je vous ai manqué, Cosima.", I whispered into her ear, pulling her shorts down in the same time. "Vous êtes si chaud." It was true. She was extremly hot for me. All those years and I was still so attracted to her. It was never enough of her. Separation was hard enough for both of us. 

"God, Delphine. You are... So hot. Fucking much.", I heard my partner's groan. "Don't tease, please."

I stopped kissing her and just looked at her. In the same time I was tracing my path towards her inner thighs with my free hand while I have the other one wrapped around Cosima's waist. She was all mine. When I reached the highest point next to her centre, she chocked the air. 

"I am not gonna tease you. I want to fuck you very much.", I said with firm tone, still looking straight into her eyes. After she heard me, I saw her eyes - dark, almost like night, so tempting. I didn't waste any more time. I slid my two figers inside her wetness. Oh, how wet she was...

Her reaction was immidiate - she tilted her head back, moaning my name in response. I started moving my fingers back and forth with slow, but firm rhytm. I knew what she loved, I knew how to touch her, where to press and what speed she liked. 

"Oh my God, Delphine!", she screamed a little too loud, but I didn't stop making love to her. If someone heard, I didn't care at all. I smiled, looking at her angelic face. I didn't know what was that, I just loved looking at her face while she was about to come. She always bit her lips, she always sqeezed her eyes... It was the most attractive and tempting picture. This time I was doing the same thing. As I was moving my fingers faster and faster, moving my thumb on her swollen clit, I looked at her. I didn't stop even when she arched her back. I didn't stop even when she acreamed my name and fell down the pillows, coming hard against my hand. I felt warm liquid around my hand and I smiled.

"I love you, Cosima.", I whispered, kissing her forehead.

She finally opened her eyes. I saw tears in it, but it wasn't sadness. 

"I missed you so much, Delphine.", she replied with broken voice. I didn't reply. Instead of it, I just hugged her and didn't let go. 

While she was drifting away, while I heard her steady, sleepy breathe, I was thinking. I am not gonna give up when I am so close. But in the same time, I am not gonna do anything beind Cosima's back. I already had my lesson from the past. I decided that I am gonna talk to S. Maybe she will convince Cosima. Let's pray she will.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

I was sitting at the table while Aurora was ordering coffee and bagel for us. I asked her for a blueberry one and chai tea latte. She came back moment later with my order and sat opposite. I thanked her with my smile.

"So, what's the deal?", Aurora finally asked. She must have known something happened. "Well, obviously, I know you had sex with Cosima. Not only almost everybody on the floor heard you guys but also your smeared lipstick and this one goldilock on top of your hair.", Aurora started laughing while I got horribly red on my face.

"Aurora! Stop!", I smashed her arm, but I wasn't mad. "Mon Dieu... This is so embarassing...", I said under my nose.

"Stop, woman. I understand.", she improved her red hair and smiled to me. "Now serious. You wanted to talk to me, Delphine. What's up?"

"Did you meet Ms. S? Cosima's... aunt?"

"Yes, I think I met her. She's badass isn't she?", Aurora smiled.

"Oui, she is. She is amazing. Well... She knows someone who still is willing to sell Malzax.", I whispered. I had been thinking for a long time whether to tell that to my friend or not. I decided to do it. After all, she knew all Cosima's medical record from PTSD. She knew it was worth it.

"What? Del, are you fucking kidding me?!", she raised her voice. Couple people looked at her direction, but she seemed not to notice.

"I'm not, mon ami..."

"Are you fucking joking? Wha-How?!", she asked with surprise in her eyes. "It was stolen couple years ago!"

"Well... She knows someone... who has connection to someone who stole it.", I said.

"Oh my fucking God! Do you know that theoretically I should call the police now? You put me in very inconvenient situation.", Aurora whispered quickly, leaning towards me.

"Please, don't...", I said sadly. She couldn't... "Please."

"Oh come on, of course I won't but... Are you joking? Does Cosima know about this?", she asked. I took a bite of my bagel and took a sip of my latte.

"Yes. I told her. She didn't agree to it."

"Well, are you surprised?! You cannot risk just like that for some medicine... Cosima-", she wanted to say something, but I cut her off.

"I know!", I raised my voice. She looked at me confused. "Je suis desole, Aurora. I'm so stressed lately...", I apologized to her. "She was upset. And Aurora, I know. I know it's risky. I know that. But Aurora, this is her only chance, you know that right? And Ms. S would help me. I need to try. I just need to. I can't let her die here...", I added quietly. My tears started forming and falling down my cheeks. I took a sharp breath and tried to stop it. "I... Nothing helps. Nothing. I want her out of here. I want her with me. I want to start life with her. We never had a chance, Aurora...", I couldn't. I burst into tears. She was next to me immidiately. My friend wrapped her arms around me and let me cry. Just like that.  

I didn't care that we were in the restaurant. I felt people's gaze at my back. But I couldn't hold it anymore. I NEED TO TRY. Aurora was caressing my back till I calmed down. I blew my nose and wiped all tears. Aurora gave me another tissue. I smiled lightly to her. 

"Okay, Delphine.", she said.

"Okay what?"

"You should do it. But Del, you need to convince Cosima. You can't just do it behind her back when she already told you perfectly clear she doesn't agree. I... I can try to talk to her. But you also have to do something, try. Delphine, after all it's her body, her decision.", she said.

"Je sais. Merci, Aurora. Very much.", I replied.

I was grateful. At least she was willing to try. I needed to do the rest. I promised myself to talk to Ms. S. She will knew what to do. 

 

*

 

I was already late. Oh, I was so fucking late! God knows how that book was interesting to me, merde! I was supposed to take Cosima from the center half an hour ago. I was taking her our for the weekend to the house again. That was also a part of the plan. Even after her talk with Aurora, she was still as a rock. I didn't know how to talk to her anymore. But then Ms. S decided to do family intervention. She, Sarah, Felix and maybe Alison were supposed to come over at the dinner to convince Cosima to the plan. They were all involved in this and they supported mine and Ms. S's idea. Even Alison with her rather peaceful attidute. Well, who am I actually kidding? She was a fighter too. Sarah volunteered to work with us on this too. Maybe with the whole family, Cosima will finally soften.

I stopped the engine in front of the building. I saw Cosima storming out from the center with anger on her face. I knew what that meant. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?!", she welcomed me with screaming and door's slamming. 

"Cosima-"

"No! Do not start. If you don't have strenght to dealing with me, then leave me the fuck alone!", she yelled. I moved away with pain in my soul. I hated the times when she was throwing a tantrum. I knew it was mostly medicine's fault. They were so many of them... 

"Mon amour, please..."

"You don't want me anymore, do you?!", she continued her anger and my tears were almost there. "Fuck, Delphine! I fucking hate you sometimes! You can't not be late, can you?! I was waiting for you! And by they way, you didn't have to ask Aurora to talk to me! I am not changing my fucking mind, Delphine!", she was screaming. 

"Cosima, STOP!!! Stop it right now!", I had enough. I couldn't stand it anymore.

She didn't expect that. In one moment she got silent. She looked at me with eyes wide open. I sighed deeply and closed my eyes. After a moment I pulled myself together and started the engine. 

We had driven the whole way to the flat with silence. I didn't say a word to her. When I stopped the car, I just took her bag and went to the building. She followed me. I threw the bag on the floor and immidiately went to the kitchen. I put the kettle on and then leaned myself towards the sink. I sighed deeply one more time, closing my eyes. I knew I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. But sometimes her tantrums were... unbearable. I knew she wouldn't have said some words, but it still hurt like hell. 

I didn't know how long I had been standing there, next to the sink. I shivered as I felt warm hands around my waist. Cosima leaned her body on my back. She was crying. Her body was shaking, I knew it, I felt it. Her tears formed a wet spot on my black blouse. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Delphine. It's just... I'm so sorry.", she was saying those words like mantra between one sob and another. I immidiately felt bad and guilty. I shouldn't have yelled at her like that. 

"Non, mon amour, non. Don't apologize.", I whispered, turning around to face her. She immidiately went into my embrance. I let her cry for a moment. I was kissing her head and forehead and cheeks... "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I know it's your mixed medicines speaking."

"Delphine, no. I'm sorry. I'm so horrible and you are so amazing for me. You sacrifised everything for me. For all those years everything you did, you did for me. And I'm still sick, all the time...", she was sobbing and I felt so bad for her. She was so innocent and vulnerable in my arms.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay, mon amour. You are with me. I am for you. I am yours.", I told her. She needed to be sure. I'm not going to leave her, no matter what. 

She calmed down a little, she stopped sobbing. I took her head between my hands and kissed her softly. While my lips touched hers, I knew. We were not gonna stop so fast. She returned the kiss with double force, pinning me to the sink. I moaned, feeling her hot kisses and cold, hard metal touching my skin through the blouse. Cosima started unzipping my black blouse while she was kissing my neck. I tilted my head back, giving her more access.

"I love your neck...", she mumbled into my sensitive skin. I moaned loudly because of that sound, but not only. She started stroking my stomach with her nails, giving me incredible shivers. God, what was she doing to me? I never knew. I've never reacted on anybody in my life as on Cosima. This tiny, petite, cute woman put a spell on me right when I laid my eyes on her for the first time, I was sure. 

She reached behind me, standing on her toes and undid black, lace bra. Once she took my breasts into her hands, I chocked the air. Oh mon Dieu! Her skilled fingers knew what to do. Moment later her lips were on my right nipple and the other hand was caressing the left one. 

"Cosima...", I mumbled her name. She loved it, I knew it. Cosima groaned, hearing that. She came back to my lips and crashed it against my own. I felt blood on my bottom lip and I was pretty sure she bit me.

"Do you wanna go to the bedroom?", she whispered into my lips. I felt her hot breathe and sighed deeply. Oui, yes please!

"I thought you'd never ask, mon amour.", I replied. Then took her hand and ran to the other room. 

She didn't waste time. She threw me on the bed and hovered over me. Somehow she was still very strong. She must have seen my confusing look because she chuckled.

"I'm not wasting my time in the center. I work out too, blondie.", she said with smile. She came back to kissing me hard while she was taking my blouse off and unzipping my jeans. 

When I was already completely naked, she took a moment to admire me. I loved this moment. She always made me feel so loved and wanted. Her sight was wandering from my legs, stomach, my breast, collarbones to my eyes. Suddenly, she came back to my stomach. I knew what was that. My wound after a shot. She put her free hand on my stomach and sighed. I saw tears in her eyes. Lonely one escaped from her left eye. I wiped it with my thumb. But it wasn't sad tear, surprisingly. I knew it.

"You are so beautiful, Delphine.", she said. "You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world."

That was it. I pulled her hard to myself and crashed my lips against hers. Moment later and she also didn't have any clothes left on. I need to feel her naked body against mine. It was so real, so... ours. 

"I want you.", she whispered. I nodded quickly, because I wanted that so bad too. I already felt my wetness gathering on my inner thighs. There was no teasing. Why? We hadn't had each other almost at all like that. I knew it, she knew it. We needed that.

I moaned loudly and cursed in French as she pushed two fingers inside me. It went smooth like on velvet. Nothing weird, I was very aroused. She was moving inside of me back and forth in a steady rhytmn. I tilted my head back but she used her other hand to make me look at her.

"No. I want you to look into my eyes while you are coming.", she said. I choked the air. This sentence sent extra volts through my body and ended it into my core. She smiled lightly and then she added her thumb on my clit and sped up. 

"Oh mon Dieu, mon amour!", I raised my voice, feeling her movements. I joined her in this intimate, erotic dance. I was still looking straight into her eyes as she told me. I saw love and desire. And longing. Oh, longing... "Faster!"

She moaned, hearing me again. Cosima did as I told her. She put her all into this, I saw that. "Oui, oui!", I continued my private serenade she only knew. She was moving fast and curling her fingers to reach my G spot. She knew it perfectly well. "I'm gonna come, love!", I screamed, still looking into her eyes. She bit her lips. And that was enough. That small gesture, small thing sent millions of shivers into my core. I burst into scream, having Cosima's name on my lips. Orgasm felt like eternity. I fell down hard, sinking into soft pillows. Cosima slowly pull her fingers out of my body. I looked down confused and got blushed. 

"Well, well... I think I won a life again.", she grinned, looking at wet sheets and her hand. I blushed even more. "Aw, look at you. You're blushing.", she chuckled. She went up to me and kissed my forehead. I started lowering my hand towards her core, but she stopped me. "It's okay, my love. Today was about you. Your pleasure is my pleasure.", she whispered.

"Are you sure?", I asked sleepily.

"I am so sure.", Cosima replied, cuddling me to herself. "I love you, Delphine Cormier."

"I love you too, mon amour...", I replied quitly.

I don't even know what time was that and how quickly I fell asleep. It was like a snap of a finger. The dreams took us into their embrance and drifted away.

 

*

BUM! 

I got up immidiately, hearing voices and noises in the other room. I looked around, but my love was nowhere to find. I took my red fluffly robe, slippers and then went out from the bedroom. I used the bathroom very quick, splashing my tired yet satisfied face. I smiled thinking about the previous night. I missed Cosima that way. She was so amazing. I smiled giddily, going to the room with voices. The thoughts about me and my love left me right when I stepped into the kitchen. 

I saw Sarah, Felix and Ms. S sitting at the kitchen table with coffees in everybody's hand. I looked at the clock. It was 1 pm. Merde! I turned my attention back to the table and then I saw Cosima standing right behind them. Very angry Cosima.

"Delphine, can you please tell me what's going on here? Those three don't tell me anything.", she said firmly, looking straight into my eyes... Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to write ten chapters. It might change tho, it depends on how story goes. I have some idea, if it works, it's gonna be pretty interesting. Today a little smut, but the next part will be the hard one. I hope you liked it!  
> I wanna thank you Elle for awesome support! Check her work out! Her nick is Delphine_puppy and she writes the story "How to save a life" <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, some time passed by and you guys need to forgive me! I have so much shit on my head, dissertation, trying to find a job, contest... But I found this moment and I'm adding another chapter. Well, everything is gonna go down, fellas!

_"Delphine, can you please tell me what's going on here? Those three don't tell me anything.", she said firmly, looking straight into my eyes... Shit._

 

I looked at her and I couldn't choke one word. _Say something, merde! Anything_ , I thought quickly. I came forward her and took her hands in mine own. She didn't take it back so it meant she didn't have an attack. S, Sarah and Felix went quiet and waited. I looked at her and saw waiting in her eyes. I took it as a welcome so I took a deep breathe.

"Cosima, mon amour... ", I started softly. "I am sorry, I am really sorry, but... I am worried about you more than anything. Your family is here, because they want to talk about the medicine, cherie. They-"

"Delphine Cormier, I told you my opinion about it.", she said firmly. I sighed, because she said my whole name and I knew what that meant. I didn't let her go though and she didn't take her hands back.

"Je sais, Je sais... But please, Cosima. Listen to them, I'm begging you. They are on my side!"

"Sure, Jen...", I heard Felix's voice and right after his groan, because Sarah punched him in the arm. Cosima was looking at me, then at her family and then at me again.

"Cosima... I'm begging you...", I pleaded. "Please, please..."

"Okay, fine", she said after a long pause. I don't know what convinced her. Maybe it was the fact that her family was there. Maybe the fact that she saw the tears in my eyes. Whatever it was, I sighed with huge relief. She decided to listen to us one more time. Last time.

I smiled to her and hugged her tighly. I wrapped my arms around her petite figure. She leaned towards me, inhiling my scent. I loved when she was doing that, that was so... ours. I felt loved and wanted. She was always taking care of that. In that moment, there was nothing else but us. I heard her sniff so I immidiately took her head between my hands and kissed her softly. She returned my kiss right away. I smiled into her lips and wiped her wet cheeks. 

"Ladies.", Felix reminded us about their presence. I pulled away from my love, red on my face. Ms. S gave me reassuring smile, Sarah was pretending that she was throwing up and Felix raised his eyebrow and looked at me with wicked smile. I was shocked, to be honest. He actually smiled to me! 

"I'm sorry...", Cosima muttered. "Okay guys. Well, speak then.", she said.

"Oui. Mon amour, I need to try to get Malzax for you. I cannot imagine my life without you. I will do anything for you. I will do anything to get you back. To me, to your family. Cosima...  I really want to start life with you. I... I would not be alone in this.", I started.

"It's true, chicken.", Siobhan stood up and then came forward my love. The older woman smiled to her and put her hand on Cosima's shoulder. It was small yet loving gesture.  "Delphine will be completely safe with me and Sarah. You know that there is no kidding with us.", Siobhan chuckled. "The man I know, he is working for the drug boss who stole the medicine. He wants five thousand for the whole amount of dose. This will help you heal completely. We already did research about the medicine. Aurora helped us too."

"God, weak Aurora... I knew she would break.", Cosima smiled. 

I was so relieved. Cosima didn't have the attack, that meant only good things. She didn't throw her tantrum, she didn't cry, she was just talking to us. Normally, calmly talking to us. I caught Sarah's gaze, she smiled to me. She saw that too. I nodded to her to let her know that I notice that. Cosima's attidute gave me more confidence, more hope for the nearest future. There is nothing better than smile of the loved one. It always helps you, always cheers you up. This one smile for me was my love's smile. 

I didn't leave her side, I wrapped my one arm around her waist and the other was handling the cup of black coffee. Siobhan was on Cosima's other side. I kissed my girlfriend's cheek when I heard her comment about Aurora.

"Well, yeah. Of course she would help, man.", Sarah said. "I'm telling you, everything is gonna be okay. It's not like she's gonna be alone in this, Cos. Delphine's got our back, believe me. When you are in center, I'm calling he' all the time. Don't tell that to anybody tho! It will ruin my badass reputation!", she chuckled.

"Oh, would I dare? No way, dude.", Cosima joined to her with laughter.

"That's true.", Felix said. "As long as I can not agree with Frenchie, she is not alone. Obviously, she loves you, bleh."

"Felix!", Ms. S raised his voice.

"Oh come on, ladies! Give me a break."

I looked at her. "See, mon amour? It's gonna be okay."

"Delphine, how do I know?", she whispered. "I don't know that. You don't know that. You can't predict the future, Del. I'm sorry but you can't predict that. And I can't lose you again. I can't even stand the thought of living without you.", she said. I saw tears in her eyes. "I know that everything would probably go well, but what if it didn't? What if-"

"You can't think that love."

"Exactly, Cos. Goddammit. It's not like we're going on a war!", Sarah raised her voice. She was losing her temper, I saw that. "Fuck, you can't see how selfish you are, can you?! All those people in this room do everything for you! Every bloody thing. I swar to God, Cosima, you need to pull yourself together. Fuck, Delphine, Delphine changed her whole life for you!"

"I didn't as-"

"Hell you didn't ask! But she did it anyways, cause she loves you more than bloody everything!", she continued. I was trying to stop her, but she shushed me immidiately. "So please for fuck's sake! I'm begging you! Look at what you're doing! You don't want to agree for something like that, knowing that she has all our backup?! Are you crazy on your mind?! And yet she came with this to you and she listened to you! I wouldn't! Cosima, you're so stupid sometimes, I swear to God. We made this stupid family emergency only for you. Hell, Siobhan moved for you and Delphine here! Don't give me any more your shit, can you do that for us?! You know what?! We're gonna for for this shit to the drug boss whether you like it or not! So pull your shit together!"

Sarah finished her speech went quiet. Silence between all of us was thick as wood. Everybody was looking at shocked Cosima. Her lips were wide open and for a moment she couldn't say anything. 

"Okay.", she whispered after the moment.

"Quoi?"

"Okay. My sister is right. I was selfish. I agree. We should do it.", Cosima smiled to me.

I couldn't believe my own ears. I started laughing and crying in the same time. I took Cosima in my embrance and lifted her up so that her legs were wrapped tighly around my waist and I was carrying her. I hugged her, still crying. She left small kisses all over my face. Siobhan, Felix and Sarah joined to us in this strange yet so safe embrance. 

"I love you Cosima, I love you so much. Thank you!", I sobbed. 

"No, Delphine. I should thank you. I am so stubborn, I don't see simple things, I'm so stupid..."

"Hell yeah you're stupid. I'm happy you changed your mind though."

"Thank you, Sarah. I needed something like that from you. It definitely cleared my mind. Tough love, huh?", Cosima laughed. I put her back on the ground, but I was still holding her hand. 

"That is good decision, chicken.", Siobhan smiled. 

"I know. It's gonna be okay. Can I go with you guys?", Cosima asked me.

"Non, non, non, non.", I replied. Somewhere in my mind I knew she was gonna ask for it.

"Oh come on, Delphine. Please?"

"Mon amour, no way. You're not ready for something like that. You will see gun and you will have the attack. Do you remember what happened when you opened my case with the gun in our flat, mon amour?", I asked softly. 

"Okaaaay, fine, Delphine. Fine.", my girlfriend groaned.

"Then it's all set, is it? Now we have to come up with the plan, chickens. We should prepare our guns. My friend told me they can meet us on Friday, so we have whole three days to prepare. Delphine and I along with Sarah will meet them. You Felix have to stay outside and control everything. They still might cheat, so we need to be careful. The only thing they care is money. We have money, so everything is gonna be okay.", Siobhan said.

"What about the place? Is it somewhere around?", I asked.

"No, not too close. They said to meet them in the old garage's area on the suburbs. It's right next to abandoned shoe factories. We're gonna sleep over Delphine's on Thursday, because we need to leave around 3 am. They don't do buisnesses like that in the daytime."

"Yep, obviously.", Felix blew his lips out.

"So everything is set?", I asked.

"Everything is set.", Sarah replied to me.

The three of them left after the short time. I finally could be with my Cosima. Only us, hot tea, romantic comedy and nice flames in the fireplace, warming us up. Cosima looked up at me and then leaned towards me. I put the mug with tea on the table and wrapped us both with a fluffy blanket. Her warm skin was like a velvet for me. I embraced her petite figure and took a deep breathe. That was my life, right then in my arms. She was my whole universe, my center of the world. I could spend my whole life like that, wrapped with a blanket with her right next to me.

"Delphine?", my name took me back to the reality.

"Oui, mon amour?"

"You're gonna be careful, right?", she asked. "I mean it when I tell you I can't lose you again. Please, be careful."

"Cosima.", I started, stroking her cheeks. "I promise you I will be careful. I'm doing it for you, for us mon amour."

"Did you... Hav-Have you thought about our... future?", she asked. "Like I don't know... Home together, pet... kids? Don't feel pressure, please, I just, I thought about that and you know. Unless you don't want to, then I totally undersand. I just, I thought tha-", I kissed her softly, cutting her words off. "I'm rambling, am I?"

"Oh Cosima...", I chuckled with happy tears in my eyes. "My silly honey, I am for you 24/7, I work in the same hospital just to be with you and you really don't think that I've never thought about that?"

"So you did? You... You want to?"

"Mon amour, that's why I am trying to get this medicine. For this future, for us. I want to be with you, I want to have sweet home with you. And who knows, maybe in couple years, we could have a baby, you know?", I said, stroking her soft cheeks. In the moment I said that, I saw the most beautiful sight she gave me. Her eyes were so happy, thinking about that future. "You can be sure I will do anything to be safe, my love. I promise you". 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is going dooooownnnnnn in this chapter!!!!
> 
> P.S. I'm so sorry guys for the delay. My laptop died and I had to give it to the computer service. Thank God I'm back!!!

 I was in the hospital when that happened. When I'm thinking about it right now, everything is blurred. I was so focused on helping Cosima that I didn't look or think about anything else. She had an attack again. After all those good times, her family's visit, our hot nights... Deeply in my heart I thought... I hoped that she's getting better. I was wrong, oh was I so wrong. It was just silence before the storm.

She saw my journal. When I was doing my job, she went to my office and instead of me there, she found my journal full of reminiscing, full of photos from the past and my memories from the time when I got shot. What the hell was I thinking?! Merde! Of course I was blaming myself, because I shouldn't have kept my private journal in my office at work where Cosima can easily enter! God.

"Del, stop. It's not your bloody fault.", Sarah said.

We were standing outside of the Cosima's room. It was one day before our little operation so everybody was here. S and Felix stayed in my lover's room with her while I talked to Sarah.

"It is my fault, soeur. You know that. I shouldn't have kept it here."

"Delphine, no.", she raised her voice. "The truth is that Cosima shouldn't have read that and dug into your private shit! And God, you know that! You are just scared of being upset with her cuz she is sick and very sensitive."

Oui. That was the whole truth. Sarah knew it.

"I'm gonna talk to her, ami. After our operation, I'm gonna talk to her.", I replied. Sarah nodded. We came back to Cosima's room. 

"Delphine!", she smiled. Oh, I loved that smile. Cosima was in her bed, laying down. 

"Oui, mon amour?"

"Come here, silly. Hug me.", she replied. I chuckled and shook my head, she is so cheeky. I sat right next to her and wrapped my arm around her small form. Cosima moaned and leaned her head on my laps. That was her favourite thing to do, her favourite cuddling position. She always says she feels the safest like that and it's the best thing to hear.

"Are you comfortable?", I whispered to her ear.

"Oh Lord, of course she is!", Felix shouted. "Darling, she is practically laying on you. Gee, you let her do everything!"

"Cut this shit off, Fee!", Cosima immidiately replied. I only chuckled, looking at them both.

"She loves it, what can I say?"

"Oui, I love it, Felix. I'm sorry.", I agreed with my love.

"You lesbians... I will never understand that.", he muttered. Siobhan and Sarah burst into laughter after hearing that. 

"Oh god, sure. Because you are so straight, man!", Sarah chocked between her laughter.

"Okay, okay, enough. Can you leave me with Delphine, guys?", Cosima asked.

"Sure, love.", Siobhan smiled. "We will wait downstairs, chicken.", she added, whispering to my ear and sqeezing my shoulder. I nodded.

After they left, Cosima took my head in her hands and kissed me passionately. She took me with surprise, I didn't expect that at all.  But after one second I returned her amazing kiss with double force. She moaned into my lips, feeling my welcoming. She put her hands on my back and lowered it till she reached the hem of my black blouse. When I felt her warmth on my hot skin, I completely forgot I am in the hospital. I groaned with pleasure and moment later I was hovering over her while Cosima was laying flat on the bed. I started kissing her passionately on the neck, leaving blood marks. I heard her hiss. In that moment I knew there was no coming back. 

"Delphine... They are waiting.", I heard her sentence escaped her lips between heavy breathing. 

"I don't care. I want you...", I replied with husky voice. I didn't have to say anything else, it was enough for her. 

The clothes didn't take too long to be taken off. When my aroused body touched hers, I was lost. I don't know how was she doing that, but I didn't want to be touched by anybody else in my entire life. I was so sure of that and I was realizing it every single time she touched me. 

"Oh my God!", she moaned out loud after I slightly touched her swollen clit. I saw that in her dark sight. She was lost too. 

"You are so beautiful...", I mumbled into her soft neck, still playing with her clit. Oh she was so wet. Always for me. 

"More. Del, more..."

She didn't have to tell me twice. There was no teasing, no playing. When I slid my two fingers inside of her beautiful body, Cosima wrapped her arms around me tightly. We were like one, hot body, glued with each other. I started moving faster and I rubbed my thumb against her swollen clit.

"Oh my fucking Lord!", she screamed with pleasure after she felt that. There was nothing better than this. I smiled against her lips, looking straight at her. Oh, I loved looking at her face when she was at the edge. And Cosima was at the edge.

"I love you, mon amour...", I whispered into her ear. She shivered and arched her back, leting out a scream, calling my name. My words were like magic to her body. She fell down, on the pillows, breathing heavily. 

I looked at her calmed face and smile. She was better, thank God. I kissed her forehead and started dressing up.

"Hey, hey, what about you, my love?", she chuckled, taking my wrist in her hand.

"Oh, it's flattering, my princess.", I joked. "Don't worry about me. Your orgasm is my priority.", I kissed her cheek. "Besides, they are waiting for me. Heck, they probably already know what happened here.", I said.

"Delphine..."

"Oui, mon amour?"

"Please, please, you need to be careful. I can't lose you. Promise me, you will be careful.", Cosima pleaded. My heart melted when I looked at her worried face. I stopped at the door, came back to her and hugged her tightly. She was my heart. Cosima knew that. 

"I promise you, mon amour, I'm gonna be extra careful. Everything is gonna be okay. Mrs S and Sarah will protect me. I'm gonna come to you after all this. I love you, mon coeur.", I whispered and kissed her.

"Okay, baby. I love you too."

After I said goodbye to Cosima and Aurora, I went downstairs. S, Felix and Sarah were waiting on the parking lot. I blushed after seeing their faces.

"Darling, I understand that Cosima needs fucking, but you really have to do it before so important operation?", Felix snapped.

"Felix for God's sake!", Siobhan punched him in the head. 

"Oh come on! What am I, a punching bag?"

"No, but you're an arse, man!", Sarah chuckled.

"Je suis desole. I'm sorry, really.", I whispered. 

"It's okay.", Sarah said, taking my arm and leading me to the car. "Don't bother this asshole. He just haven't gotten laid for a long time."

I burst into laughter along with Sarah, Siobhan joined us moment after. The older woman was trying to keep a straight face, but looking at us, she just couldn't.

"Well, thank you guys. Thank you! Let's just drive, come on!"

 The rest of the way passed by with comfortable silence. I bet Felix was offended, but nobody cared really. I was only thinking about my sweet Cosima and this whole operation. It was dangerous, that was truth. If they feel like they don't trust us or we are somehow undercover, we will be screwed, totally screwed. But I had faith. I had Sarah, Felix and Siobhan with me. I knew everything was gonna be okay. For once I wish I could have Helena with me. Or even Alison with her psychopatic mind. But both had their lives, real lives and I just didn't want to bother them. They were still nice to me and sometimes called or left text message. I still didn't understand Helena. I remember the first time I saw her. She got obssesed with my hair. I got scared at first, but then Sarah explained me everything. Merde, everything passed by so fast. The time is cruel. 

We got to my flat around 11pm and we all knew we were not gonna sleep at all. Everything was set, the equipment prepared, the money was in the bag so the only thing we could do was having couple drinks.

"Legendary Jack and Coke?", Siobhan smiled. I nodded and fell on the comfortable couch. I closed my eyes for a moment. Mrs. S came forward and handed me a glass with alcohol. I took couple sips and then put the class on the counter. 

"Weird, huh?, Sarah asked, suddenly standing next to me. Engrossed with my thoughts, I didn't even see her coming. 

"What do you mean, ami?"

"I mean this, us. We're like some bloody family, yeah? Like Soprano family. But maybe a little happier.", she chuckled. "Would you believe if they told you it's gonna be like that? Us, talking, drinking alcohol?"

"Non.", I agreed. "I  wouldn't believe. But you know what? It's nice. It's good. Although Cosima is... well, how she is, it's still good. And it's gonna be better.", I replied.

"Hell yeah! Let's drink to that! You know, I must tell you, you're so good to Cosima. After all those years, you're still for her. You love her so much."

"Bingo!", I joked. "Well, congratulation Columbus, you finally discovered America! Of course I love her!"

"Oh come on, Frenchie! You know what I mean."

"I know, ami, I know. And thank you. I would do everything for her. Well, actually I am about to. Hopefully, everything is gonna be okay."

"Of course it will be. We're bloody badasses! We can do it.", Sarah said, she was very convinced. I needed her self-confidence. She hugged me tighly and then we both reached for our glasses. 

*

The area wasn't nice. I tighen my grip on the gun I had in my pocket. My heart was racing million times faster than usual. I promised myself not to be scared. What can go wrong? We have money, I am with the best backup, the guy is willing to sell it... Everything is gonna be okay, everything is gonna be okay. Sarah noticed my fear, because she squeezed my hand and gave me reassuring smile.

Felix stayed at home, he was the emergency guy, always the most important. I was sitting in the car, on the backseat with Sarah. Siobhan was driving. Her friend, Malcolm, was already with us. He was the one who had some sort of... buisnesses with the drug dealer. 

"Are you okay back there?", he asked. I think he was about 45 years old, tall and handsome at his age. He looked at me and Sarah.

"Oui, we're okay.", I said simply.

"Okay. So remember what I told you guys. Mr. Alonso is super suspicious about the bugs and police. If he feels like you are a threat, he will not be nice. Just play with his scenario, accept his alcohol if he gives you, then give him money, take medicine and go away. Got it?"

"You got it.", Sarah replied, because I couldn't. Merde! I am fucking Delphine Cormier yet I was shaking like a little child. Goddammit. I was a head of Dyad for fuck's sake. I got shot and barely survived. I had to break up with my love in order to help her and protect her sisters and I'm still really scared of something? Jesus, Del, keep your shit together...

I stopped thinking about it immidiately because we just arrived. Malcolm opened the door for me and Sarah. We met two guys big like bears who led us to the old factory. It was almost empty. Only on the left side there was a table, little locker beside, fridge with alcohol and couple of chairs, probably for us. In the middle of the room we met Mr. Alonso. Merde, merde, merde... He was huge. He looked foreign, but I couldn't tell where was he come from. He smiled, seeing us, he shook our hands.

"Welcome in my factories. Here, you can sit here. I bet you are Sarah, you are Delphine and this is legendary Siobhan Sadler. I heard so much about you.", his brown eyes smiled. 

I nodded. He was right with our names. I was pretty sure he made research. If he is so obssesed with police and people undercover, he definitely did that.

"You need to forgive me. My people are gonna be here, but don't worry, they will not bother us."

I finally sat in front of him, Sarah did the same, but Siobhan stood behind us, keeping her gun next to herself. I figured it was protective pose. 

"Of course, Mrs. Alonso.", Siobhan nodded.

"So... Delphine, I presume? You have a buisness for me? It's about your partner?"

"Oui, yes... She's sick and I would like to buy Malzax from you."

"You have money, right?", he asked.

"Yes. Everything is in the bag. I added a little extra for your kindness, because let's be honest. You didn't have to do it.", I said. I kept straight face, a years of learning in the Dyad.

"You're right. But I've heard about Siobhan from Malcolm and well, when I heard about your situation... What can I say? My heart is getting softer while I'm getting older. But of course when I find out that you told something to police, I will have to... eliminate every four of you."

"Four?", Sarah asked.

"You, Delphine, Mrs. S and dear Felix. I know he knows."

"You're damn right he knows...", Sarah muttered. 

"Mr. Alonso, we don't wanna waste your time.", Mrs. S said. I was so grateful I could go silent for a moment. "Let's take care of the buisness."

"Of couse, Mrs. Sadler as you wish.", Mr. Alonso said. "Would you like to drink something?  I have the best whiskey."

"Oui, with pleasure.", I smiled. He went to the little fridge, prepared the glass and moment later he handed us the glass with brown liquid. 

"Cheers.", he said. After he took couple sips, he put the glass on the desk and looked at me. "You know, I must say... You are really beautiful, doctor Cormier. You would look really good being here, with me and my boys. Miss Cosima is one lucky girl."

"Um... Oui. She is.", I only replied and lowered my head. That was really uncomfortable.

"Okay, cut the shit. Are we doing this or not?", Sarah almost lost his temper.

"Oh, thats right. Impatient Sarah Manning...", Mr. Alonso chuckled. He obviously was having fun and I really wanted to go away as fast as I can. "Okay then. Let's do what each of us wants..."

Then everything happened very quickly. We almost finished the whole transaction. He almost gave me the bag with pills and I almost gave him a bag with cash. Almost. It's a big difference. Moment later I had a gun pointed in my head and Sarah had a knife next to her throat. The only free person was Siobhan who was pointing to the guy who had a knife on Sarah's throat. What happened?

"They have a rat!", someone screamed. That happened. Mr. Alonso wasn't playing with us. He put the situation straight. Either he trusts us or not. He had five guys. We were only three. Malcolm drove away, because he didn't want to be in danger. Felix was still at home, waiting for signal. Then who the hell was a rat?!

"Oh my bloody God!", I heard Sarah's whisper. I looked at her direction and then I saw it. 

"Merde! Cosima!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeereee's Dr Comyaaaay!!! I mean Zosia. Oh, you guys know. Well, be careful guys, this chapter is extremely brutal. Just warned.

Cosima. My love Cosima. Mon amour. Why did you do this, Cosima? I looked at her although the guy pointed the gun at me. Tears appeared on my face unexpected. Was it angry cry? Or the cry for the love of my life who was trapped between Mr. Alonso and his mate? I shook my head. Everything was going on slow motion. I felt high, but I wasn't. I looked at Ms. S, who was the only free person. She was the only one with a huge gun. Shock on her face wasn't dissapearing at all. I heard Sarah's curses, but all this, this didn't matter. I saw only me and Cosima. 

She was shaking. Her lips were trembling despite her will. Was she having a tantrum? Maybe. I couldn't help her. I was sure we were gonna die. Who's gonna help us? Mr. Alonso changed the position with the guy who kept the gun right behind my head. The man came to Cosima, Alonso came towards me.

"I'm so sorry, Delphine...", Cosima only whispered before I was grabbed hard by Alonso and pushed ahead. I heard Ms. S's scream and Sarah's curses, but then door closed. I was alone with a drug boss.

"So, Delphine... Can you explain that to me?", he asked, pushing me towards the chair. I was forced to sit. Then he stood right in front of me. 

"Please, don't hurt any of them. Please..."

"Do you really think you can ask for something in your position? You just lost your whole credit, my dear. And by the way, your girlfriend is so ungraceful. Destroy something like that... Not good.", he said, stroking my cheek. I shivered. He can't do anything to me, can he? No, no, no...

"Stop! Don't touch me! Let us just go! Just take all money, you don't have to give me medicine instead, just take money and let us go!", I screamed with one breathe. He didn't reply straight away. He just started laughing. I was close to crying. I heard screams outside and I was just terrified. I was terrified, lost, dissapointed. So many emotions in my head and I was just about to be hurt in the worst way...

"Delphine... It's not gonna happen. But I am good gentleman, so I'm gonna give you a proposition.", Mr. Alonso said, leaning towards my face and inhiling my scent. I was disgusted. Merde, I just wanted to throw up straight into his face. "I'm gonna let your girlfriend and friends go if you stay here with me... As my personal woman."

I froze. 

It was happening again. I was sitting in front of him, looking straight into his deeply brown eyes, but I wasn't really looking. I focused on my mind because I had million pictures there. Me, first meeting Cosima. I knew it was the love at first sight. The moment I learned her name, the moment I escaped after first kiss... I knew this was gonna be forever. Then I thought about our nice little flat and the day when her whole family helped with it. I thought about Ms. S who was like a mom for me, about Sarah who was just pretending that I am a  _Frenchie_ and even Felix... I knew he accepted me deeply in his heart.

I was so mad at Cosima. I was furious with her, because we probably will die anyways. How could she? Why? Just when I decided and I wanted to agree, something stopped me. No. I will not let him do this. Non. Not again. 

"Non. You will let all of us go.", I said firmly.

"Hmm... I didn't know you were a fighter.", he replied after a pause, then he made me stand up, he pushed me towards the door and we went outside. I let out a harsh sob when I saw my three girls trapped between five guys. Ms. S lost too. Her gun was now in the hands of the tallest blonde guy. I couldn't believe it. 

"Hello, girls!", Mr. Alonso shouted. "Here is Delphine Cormier. She just wants to make your life miserable! I proposed her a reasonable proposition but she rejected it. You three could be free while she stays with me, but well... she didn't agree. So now we will play some game.", he said.

"Fuck you, you bloody terminator!", Sarah spitted.

"Oh Miss Manning... You better stay quiet if you still want to be in one piece. Ladies and Gentlemen, right now we will see how Delphine Cormier's decision can affect your life! Let's pick... Hm... Not Cosima, because Delphine hates her in that moment. Eenie, meenie miney moe...", he started counting, still holding me tight. I looked at them... They were terrified. Cosima was having a tantrum. She was all shaking, she didn't get her medicine amount and now she couldn't... I looked at Sarah. She just looked back at me, but she wasn't mad. Then my eyes landed on Ms. S. Her cheek was already hurt... Poor woman. Someone must have hit her hard. She shook her head and then smiled to me. 

"Just let them go... Take me instead...", she whispered.

"No, mom!"

"How amazing, but no.", Alonso said. "Benito, give me Sarah here. Now focus Miss Cormier. Sarah will hurt. She will hurt badly. And you all will be looking at them. That is the end of trying to rat me out.", he finished.

Second after I heard a scream. My ami's scream. She got shot in the foot. Of course... Not to kill, but torture. I closed my eyes. That can't be happening... 

"Sarah, non!!!!"

"Stop, Delphine, no. Be strong, please! I'm gonna be okay!"

"Oh my Lord, love!"

"Sarah!!!"

Everybody was yelling. All Alonso's men were laughing. I was crying. Sarah was bleeding bad. She fell down, because she lost her balance completely. I fell down as well, I was trying to get to her, but Alonso stopped me. 

"Uh-huh. Not so fast, dr. Cormier. Did you change your mind now?"

"Delphine, no! Don't agree!"

"Sarah, I have to! He will kill you all! I can't let this happen! Ms. S needs you as well as Cosima. You will handle life without me... "

"Delphine, no! What are you talking about?! No. No! You can't leave me!", Cosima screamed. My heart broke. I looked straight into her eyes. The truth was... It was her fault.

"I have to, Cosima.", I only replied. Then I turned to Alonso. I saw this creepy smile on his face and shivered. Merde. I will have to... I will have to. I need to save them. Because I am not even be able to be fucking selfish once. I have to safe them. They were my family. Was I happy in my life? I was. This one month with Cosima after shit with Rachel on island and before her PTSD. It was the best time. I was happy for a month. I guess that was all in my life.

I was about to tell Alonso to let them go. I already saw satisfaction on his face. He grabbed me harder, but just when he was about to take me outside, someone hit him hard in the head. Baseball bat? He fell down the floor, blood was all over my face. The baseball ball definitely crushed his brain. I couldn't see, I was deaf, I was in shock. Then I heard the most beautiful three words in the world.

"Sestra Golden Hairs.", Helena grabbed me by my arm and led behind Alonso's desk. I couldn't move. I heard screams. I poked my head out and first in my life I saw Helena in action. She was... She was unbelievable. And terrifying. Helena was a size of Sarah and Cosima, but she beated two guys without any problem. 

"Helena, behind you!", I yelled. Thank God, she was on time. 

"You threatend my family. Nobody threaten my family. Nobody hurt Sestra Golden Hairs.", she said while hitting the guy straight into his face with the knife. There was no face anymore. 

Moment later Ms. S was free. She took her gun and fired the bullet into the man who was holding poor Sarah. The older woman immidiately took her daugher and they went outside. Sarah couldn't fight anymore, she lost too much blood. Although they left, Helena didn't have any problems with two more guys. She broke once's neck and moment later she finished the last man. Everybody, including Alonso, was dead.

I didn't know what happened next. It was like a snap of a finger. Before I even thought, Cosima was next to my side, holding me tight. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.", she burst into tears. We were already outside. Sarah had her foot safe, we were waiting for Felix to come. I took a step back from Cosima, I immidiately came forward Helena and hugged her tight. I think she didn't know how to react at firt. But moment later she wrapped her hands around my waist.

"Nobody will threaten to you Golden Hairs.", she whispered. 

"Helena, thank God! What are you doing here?!", Sarah asked. She was very weak. 

"Brother-Sestra called me on the pink phone. Me solve all problems.", she smiled. Ms. S came and hugged her as well. Helena reached to her backpack and gave a small package to Cosima. "This is medicine for you, sestra Cosima."

"Oh my God! Helena!"

"Merci. Merci, ami. Merci..."

Felix came as fast as he could. When he saw Helena, he hugged her as well as we did before. It turned out he was the one who called Helena. We didn't let him know for a long time so he figured that we might have troubles. We were in the car. Cosima was sitting next to me. After having an attack, she fell asleep on my arm. I felt weird towards her. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that... That it was her fault...

Ms. S decided to drive. Felix was sitting right next to me. I was shocked when I felt his hand in mine. I looked to the left side, I looked at his face, he was smiling lightly. 

"Delphine, thank God you're okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything..."

"Shhh, it's okay. Everything in the past doesn't matter.", I whispered and squeezed his hand.

 

We all ended up in the flat after we left Helena in Ms. S's flat. She was very tired. We tugged her into bed and left her a note so she wouldn't be scared when she woke up. Sarah was left at Felix's friend who was a doctor. Thank God nothing serious happened to her foot. The bullet went straight through it. Just to be sure, she was about to stay there for one day for observation. Then we went straight to my flat. I woke Cosima up by shaking her arm slightly. The three of us went inside. 

Then it happened. I exploded. I couldn't handle it anymore. I just had to know everything. Even Ms. S didn't stop me when I came towards Cosima and grabbed her by arm.

"What the hell was that, Cosima?!"

"I'm sorry, Delphine, I'm sorry!", she burst into tears.

"Non! Non! No more excuse! Do you fucking understand?! No more excuses! I don't fucking care anymore if you're sick! You could have destroyed everything!", I yelled at her.

"Breathe, love. Breathe. And you, Cosima, you better tell us everything right now.", Ms. S said. 

"I... I escaped from the center right after I heard what time you guys are gonna leave. I was so scared... I though I'd never see you.", she sobbed. I didn't move. I didn't comfort her. I needed comfort once. Once. Did I ask for too much? "I followed you to the factory. I know, it was so stupid... But I thought that if I'm here, I could protect you... I'm so sorry. I thought... I love you all so much."

"Protect us?! Are you kidding me?! I almost died because of you! Sarah almost died because of you!", I screamed. It was done. I exploded and I had to tell her everything. "You're so fucking selfish Cosima! I know you're sick but there is no excuse for your fucking stupidy! How dare you?! How fucking could you?! I told you to trust me! Once again! And once again you just couldn't tust me!"

"I'm so s-"

"Non! Non! Don't you dare! Don't you dare to cut me off! You can be such a bitch sometimes! I did everything for you, everything! I sacrificed my life for you! Everybody did everything for you! And you cannot stop yourself, can you?! Listen to me , I'm done for today! I cannot even look at you right now! I hope you're proud of yourself, you have your cure, congratulations! I'm out of here! I don't wanna see you!", I snapped. 

I didn't even care that it was my flat. I didn't care that Ms. S was calling me. I didn't care that Cosima was crying like never in her life. I was just running to the door. I just fell out outside. It was raining. I started running straight, I didn't even know where. I was running and running, and running... I just wanted to be as far from that shit as I could.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter where Cosima saves the day. Well, with some angst of course. This is quick update, whoaa! What can I say? I got inspiration and I just went for it. 
> 
> I wanted to dedicate this chapter for Elle (Delphines_puppy), because she had the best reactions for the previous chapter :D (you know what I'm talking about, those Delphine's gifs on WhatsUpp!)
> 
> Enjoy!

_three weeks later..._

 

I just closed everything in my laptop and took my coat when I heard knock in my office door. I sighed. How many things will I still have to do today? It was already past 6 p.m. and someone still wants something from me. Goddammit. 

"Come in.", I said.

Dreadlocked head poked into my office. When I saw her face I sighed. Cosima was blushing and trying to avoid the eye contact with me. Well, how mature. She looked way better and that's how she felt. I was taking care of her from the distance. I was the one who was giving her medicine and checking the progress. I still didn't want to talk to her though. I was still so furious with her. I don't know when will she learn that when I say to trust me, she just needs to do that, because there will be troubles otherwise. So this time I decided to be tough. I couldn't let this go so easily. 

"Hey, Delphine..."

"Bonsoir, Cosima. How do you feel?", I asked, giving her a signal to come in. She went inside the room shyly and finally she sat in front of me. 

"I'm good. I mean... I feel so much better. Malzax works perfect for me. My emotions are stable. I still need to visit therapist, but... I stopped having panic attacks.", she smiled lightly.

"Bien, cherie.", I replied with the smile. When she heard my french words, she couldn't stop her grin. Well, I didn't stop to love her, of course not. "I'm very happy it's working. I knew it was going to work. You will be finally healthy."

"Yes... Delphine, I'm gonna sign out today. I'm leaving the center today.", Cosima said, lowering her sight.

"Wh-"

"No, no, don't worry. I'm gonna go to Mrs. S. She told me I can stay with her for a while. I'm gonna look for a job and ... Well, I'm gonna put my shit together.", Cosima added.

"Mon amour, you have no idea how happy I am that you are better. You will finally have your life back."

"No, that's not true. There is no life without you...", she said.

"Cosima..."

"No! What's gonna happen to us, Delphine? What the hell is going on? What are we standing on?!", Cosima raised her voice.

Oh non. She has no fucking right. I looked straight into her eyes, they were dark, I was sure. Cosima was upset too, I could see that. It was something new to me that she didn't have a tantrum. She was completely new, she was actually like Cosima I knew so well.

"Stop yelling at me, Cosima! You have no right! Are you so oblivious, really?! I told you what happened! How many times are you gonna do something stupid, huh?! Merde! You risked not only our life, but also Mrs. S's and Sarah's! You could have get us all killed! Do you really not see that?!"

"I apologized to you...", she muttered.

"Je sais. Je sais.", I took a deep breathe and tried to calm down. She did apologize to me. I sighed deeply one more time before I answered her. I didn't want to yell at her anymore. I saw the sign of huge guilt on her face. She knew what she had done, there was no doubt. "I know, baby. You did apologize to me and thank you for that. I do understand why you went after us. I understand that you were worried and scared. I do know all of that, Cosima. Please, don't think I don't. But what you did... Cosima, do you understand how dangerous that was? I asked you to trust me. I told you I'm gonna be with Mrs. S and Sarah. And you went after us in your condition. Mon Dieu... Don't you remember how did you react on the sight of the gun? Cosima, we were about to make a deal and just in that moment they caught you. Can you even imagine how hard it was to look at you, shaking in those men's grip? You were having an attack and I couldn't do anything to help you."

"I know..."

"Non, you don't know!", I raised my voice. "Tell me why do you have to be such a brat? First Shay, then Duncan's book and now that?!"

"Oh my God, are you fucking serious?!", she stood up. She was angry. "Are you gonna talk about Shay?! Are you jelaous, what the fuck?!"

"Do you really think it was easy to look how you're having fun with this... little girl while I was cleaning your mess?! I did everything for you! Everything! When are you gonna understand that, Cosima?! I can't be with you if you don't understand that! After all these years and I feel you still don't trust me!"

"I do trust you, Delphine! God, are you gonna talk about Shay now?! She's waaaay in the past for God's sake! What, are you jelaous?! Are you serious?! I do trust you!", she replied angry.

"Then prove it for fuck's sake!", I simply said and I just couldn't. I started aiming the door when I heard her.

"Do you want me to prove it?! Fine by me!", I heard. That was the last words before I was outside.  

I went straight to the flat, I barely could drive the car. I went inside and left my purse and coat on the hook next to the door. My peace didn't last long though. As I stepped to the kitchen to open the wine, my phone called.

"What now...", I muttered, reaching for the device. "Allo, Sarah."

"Oi, Frenchie. How is it going?"

"Mon Dieu, are you serious, Sarah? How do you think it can be?", I said angrily.

"Gee, I'm just asking...", I heard her mutter.

"Je suis desole, ami. I'm just... I'm tired.", I sighed. I didn't wanna worry her or anything. Besides, I knew what she was going to talk to me about. 

"I know, Del. Sorry. So I heard Cosima is signing out today. She's getting better and better. I'm so relieved."

"Oui, mon ami. I'm so happy. Thank God it's over... How is Helena?", I asked, trying to avoid further questions about me and Cosima.

"She's good. She came back, she was so bloody happy she could help, you have no idea. And dude, she couldn't stop talking about your  _hairs._ ", the woman giggled. 

"Oh mon Dieu! What is it with her and my hair? Anyway, I'm glad she is okay. God, if she didn't come... I cannot even imagine."

"Yeah... So tell me what's gonna happen with you and my sister?", she asked. God, this question. I knew this was gonna happen.

"You had to, hadn't you? I don't know Sarah. I don't know. Cosima needs to grow up.", I said firmly.

"God, Delphine! Wha'? I'm just asking. She's fucking crying to me all the time. Just cut this bloody shit off."

"Cut this shit off?! Sarah, she almost got us all killed! I'm sick and tired of her immature behaviour.", I replied.

"I know, okay?! I know! But man, she's finally healthy, she's finally recovering! Please, don't forget about that! She did some fucked up shit, but she needs you! What is she gonna do now?! Sure, she's gonna stay with Mrs. S for a while, but you need to pull your shit together too!"

"Fine, Sarah. Fine!", I cut her off. I had enough of this talk. I just wanted to rest.

"Just please, think this through and give her a chance, for fuck's sake. I'm gonna call you soon. Kira needs to be taken care of. Bye, Frenchie."

I pressed the red button and I just started crying. My tears were falling down my cheeks and couldn't stop. God, why? Why cannot I be just happy? Just normally happy?! I am a good person, I have been a good partner. Oui, I did some messed things, but never on purpose. I was just trying to save them all and protect them. Is it so wrong? Non. Maybe I really should just let this go. I thought about it and I just I wasn't able to forgive Cosima yet. I was hurt, because she kept doing the same thing time after time. How many more times should I prove her that I really can take care of her and protect her?

God, I couldn't stop thinking about her in the factory, shaking in those men's grip. She was looking at me then and I felt so fucking helpless. I almost gave myself to disguasting Alonso to save them all. God... And thank God everything ended good. I was so happy Cosima was getting better and better. I was so happy and relieved she was finally leaving the center. 

Even if I was upset with her, I had to be around her during the whole recovering. I took care of the medicines, of the therapist for her and job offers. I took care of everything. She knew that. That's why she didn't push me with talking about what happened. I knew she was crying. But I was crying too. I was hurt too.

 

_a week later..._

I don't know what was I thinking with going out. It was supposed to be with Aurora who was the only one not asking about Cosima. Somehow I ended up in the bar all by myself. I was sitting at the bar, sipping third cup of whiskey. I am not gonna lie, everything was already spinning. I could be a good guardian, good boss and protective partner, but I wasn't a good drinker. I had a weak head. 

As you can imagine then, going out all by myself wasn't a good idea. But well, it happened. I was sick to my stomach looking at my life and in that moment I didn't care about my buzzing head. Cosima hadn't talked to me the whole week. I was worried sick, but well, after all I was the one who told her that I needed space. Thank God for Mrs. S. who was telling me everything what was going on with my love. 

"She's trying, love.", the older woman said to me, when I called her before on the phone. "She keeps telling that she needs to prove you she can do it. And she is our old Cosima, love. The therapist you picked for her was a jackpot, too. Don't worry. She's gonna call you, Del."

I was relieved. But still, I couldn't stop worrying. Well, that's why I ended up in the bar in the first place. I took another sip and then asked for the next cup of Jack. That was when I noticed the man sitting right next to me. He was staring at me the whole time.

"What?", I asked angrily. "Didn't you see a woman drinking by herself before?"

He just chuckled. This took me off guard. What the fuck is wrong with men in this world?! Do they really think that every one of us likes to be bothered?

"I have seen indeed. And I wasn't trying to flirt with you."

"Oh... Oh mon Dieu. I am sorry...", I smiled lightly. How embarassing.

"It's okay. I was just wondering what's on your mind. You seemed pretty engrossed with your thoughts and well... sad.", he explained himself.

"Well, my friend, what can I say? The life doesn't go how we expect sometimes. You know I have a girlfriend. She's so beautiful, she's the most beautiful human being I've ever seen. Believe me, you would fall in love with her. She's smart, incredibly funny, so caring and so amazing.", I smiled. Oui, I was drunk. But all those things, they were true.

"Then what can be wrong?", he simply asked.

"Hmm... It's a long story.", I replied. 

"I have a time."

I nodded. Obviously I wasn't that drunk to tell him secret stuff. I just smiled.

"Bien. You see long long time ago I... I betrayed her in some way. Not sexually, it was more about stuff between us, given word, you know. But after that one mistake, I didn't stop proving her that I'd do everything to her. She got sick. I did everything to cure her. She went through some bad things. And then she got sick again. This time it was PTSD. I sacrificed everything to cure her. It took a lot of my efford, my work. After a long time I finally found solution to her symptoms. It was very dangerous. But I did that. I cured her again.", I said.

"Man, she is one lucky girl isn't she?", the stranger chuckled. I joined to him and continued.

"But see, I still feel she doesn't trust me. She... Cosima put me and her family in some kind of danger some time ago. It was only because she was scared about me. And althought I told her she can trust me, she was still trying to take things in her hands. And I just I don't know what else can I do to prove her, you know?"

"Hmm... Love life isn't that easy, huh?", he said after a pause. Deeply in my drunk mind I was shocked. I just started confessing to some stranger guy. Jack did this to me. "I think Cosima knows what you did and do for her. I think she was just worried about you. Maybe she was scared that she will lose you somehow. Maybe you should let things go, you know? What you just told me, she seems to be one special woman for you. And I feel that she cares for you. I'm telling you.", he finished. 

I couldn't say anything else. I just nodded. The stranger ordered the next Jack for me, then smiled and squeezed my shoulder and left. Just like that. That was the most surrealistic thing that ever happened to me. 

I didn't exactly remember the last glass of whiskey after the stranger went away. I stood up clumsily and tried to find my car key. As soon as I found them in the depest areas of my purse, someone took it from me. 

"Hey! Give it back to me!", I yelled at the young bartender.

"I'm sorry Miss. I can't let you drink in your condition. Do you want me to call for someone?"

"Screw you, I can handle my life by myself.", I spitted angrily and barely went outside. My head was spinning like a carousel on the highest speed. I was outside on the cold weather and I lost my scarf somehow. I shivered, feeling the cold air on my neck. 

I leaned to the wall, closing my eyes. Goddammit. In what point exactly I lost the control? I had no idea. All I knew in that moment was that I was gonna have a huge hangover in the morning. I took out my phone and searched my contact list. I knew who I was gonna call, there was no other way.

"Hello?", I heard raspy voice. I just woke her up from the deepest dreams.

"C-Cosima. It's me... Can you come for me?", I asked her.

"What? Where are you? What's going on?", she asked. I heard noises while she was dressing up quickly.

"Oh it's just a stupid asshole bartender took my car keys, because I had couple glasses of whiskey, big deal. Merde!", I shouted, because I lost my balance. I almost missed the wall and almost fell down but in the last moment I grabbed the cold wall.

"What bar?", she asked simply. Was I in trouble? I think I was. Big deal.

"It's Cherry.", I mumbled.

"Don't go anywhere. And go inside, for God's sake. I'm on my way."

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

It was quiet in the car. None of us said anything at the first place. After all I felt super dizzy and looking through the window didn't help at all. I looked to the other side, at my Cosima. God, she looked hoooot! Her colours got better, she was blushing and she finally gained a little weight. I remembered that she had one more week of taking Malzax and then it was over.

"What, Delphine?", her question caught me off guard. She must have noticed my staring, although she had her eyes stuck on the road.

"Non. Nothing... You're so beautiful and hot.", I mumbled, smiling lightly.

"God Delphine, you're drunk.", Cosima replied angrily.

Hey! Maybe I was drunk, but Cosima was always my hot scientist, that never changed! I looked at her one more time and then crossed my arms on my chest. Pf! I felt her staring, but I didn't turn my sight. 

"Can I at least smoke through the window or you're gonna throw me out from the car?", I asked angrily. 

"Do whatever you want.", she replied. I shrugged my shoulders and then I just took one cigarette from the pack and lit it. I cracked the window a little and exhaled grey smoke. "We're going to your flat by the way. I don't want to worry Mrs. S." 

"Oh, she knew I was going out."

"Sure, but she didn't know you ended up all by yourself, getting shitfaced!", Cosima raised her voice.

I got silent. I didn't want to get her upset even more. After I finished my cigarette, we arrived in front of my... our apartment. She helped me get out, because of course I almost fell down and I would just end up with my face on the ground. Cosima sighed heavily after she grabbed my arm. We unlocked the door and went inside. Cosima turned the light on and led me to the bedroom. 

Once she wanted to let me go, I just pulled her towards me and crushed my lips with her own. Oh merde, that was such a good feeling. I have missed those cute, soft lips, I must admit. I haven't kissed her for four weeks. It's was a month! She returned the kiss and wrapped her arms around my waist. But it didn't last long. Once I tried to sneak my tongue inside, she pulled away from me harshly.

"No, Delphine! No! You got drunk, you were all alone and you think the kissing solves everything?!", Cosima screamed.

"Oh come on, mon Dieu! I missed you! And yes, kissing solves everything!"

"Well, I missed you too! I have missed you the whole time! But you didn't think the punishment you picked for me was kinda too heavy. You didn't think about that, huh?! Add to that, you put yourself in danger too today! What if someone tried to rape you?! You're telling me about how I fucked the deal up and now what are you doing huh?!", she screamed. 

"Calm down!"

"Excuse me?! You-you are telling me to calm down?! I was beyond calmed the whole four weeks! And where were you?! Oh wait, you weren't with me, so how should you know, right?", she screamed. 

"You know perfectly well why I wasn't with you, Cosima! Besides you are not right! I was giving you medicines, I took care of your treatment and did all of that!", I raised my voice. "And so what? I decided to get shitfaced because what else have left?! I am always that fucking perfect woman, who saves the day. All the fucking time! I am protecting you, your sisters and all I get for change is lack of respect and Felix's mean behaviour towards me, because I'm that fucked up Frenchie!"

"God, Delphine! You're so fucking naive! I don't know why you called me. You know how it looks like? Like you don't want to be with me anymore! Because of how you act towards me!", she started sobbing. Merde... I am a fool. Such a fucking fool. "And you know, yes I fucked up! But during the whole process of my recovering I would use some of my partner's comfort and warmth!"

I didn't know what to tell her. She was right. At least a little. I shouldn't have gone by myself. I lost control completely. After all those things that happened to us, around us, I just I let my anger consume me. I lowered my head and looked at the ground. I didn't want to look into her eyes. 

"I'm sorry, Cosima... Can we-Can we just talk? Tomorrow? We will figure this out. It's not true what you said. I do want to be with you. Please, just talk to me tommorow.", I pleaded.

"Okay, Del.", she said after a long pause. "We will talk.", she finally smiled to me. I replied with the same smile and then started undressing myself and change into pj's. That was when I saw her getting ready to go.

"Can you just stay?"

She paused. She turned around to me and came forward.

"Okay. I'll stay, Del. But first I will prepare you something for the morning - painkillers and water. And we're gonna sleep lady!", she wagged a finger at me. I giggled. That was my old Cosima, I couldn't believe that! 

God, for this whole time Sarah and Mrs. S were right. She came back to us! And I wasted the whole four weeks for anger instead of being happy with my girlfriend...

Once I felt her arms wrapping my waist under the sheets and her warm kiss on my neck, I could finally sleep peacfully. She spooned me and snugled her face into my wild curly hair. That was our favourite position. 

"Goodnight, Delphine."

"Goodnight, mon amour.", I said. And after a pause I added. "I love you..."

But she didn't reply me. I just heard her steady breathing. She fell asleep and I joined to her moment later.

 

"Oh mon Dieu, just kill me God...", I groaned when the sunlight in the room woke me up. Oh my God. My head was dying, I was sure! I tried to shake it but it was definitely bad idea. New wave of pain went through my head. I looked around but Cosima was nowhere to find. It was then when I noticed two pills for my headache and a glass of water. I smiled. She was so cute. I took two pills at one time and then drank the whole glass of water. 

I stood up and wore my silk robe. Can I die now? It was too much of Jack, definitely too much. First I went to the bathroom to take a shower. I was sure Cosima went home and to be honest I was dissapointed. I though we were gonna finally talk, but maybe she decided to just come back. I don't know. I wasn't sure what happened at the end of the night. I remembered the way to the flat and Cosima yelling at me, but the rest was blurred. I didn't even know when I fell asleep.

Warm water sobered me out completely and I finally could think clearly. My headache seemed to keep going away. I was still very thirsty though. I went out and wore some grey pants only for wearing at home, black bra and white tank top. I left my wet hair loose so they could get dry. Merde, I was just dying for some coffee.

I went to the kitchen and I screamed with fear. I didn't expect Cosima just sitting at the table with coffees from Starbucks and fresh bagels - my favourite blueberry. She started laughing when she saw my terrified expression.

"Merde, Cosima! You almost killed me!", I punched her in the arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's a shame you didn't see yout face.", she said. I chuckled.

"I thought you left..."

"No, no. I just went for coffee and bagels. Here, this is for you. Then I heard you in the shower so I just decided to wait for you, Del.", Cosima explained.

Oh, coffee Goddess! When I felt this amazing, hot liquid in my lips, I moaned with pleasure. That was the thing I needed. I looked at Cosima with gratefullness, but she only nodded. 

"Merci, mon amour. Oh mon Dieu, that was what I needed.", I smiled, sitting right next to her.

"I know you, Delphine. I knew you were gonna want that. By the way, how is your head?", she asked. 

I groaned. "Oh, much better. Thanks to your pills of course.", I smiled, taking your hand in my own.

"Delphine... Can we talk now?", she asked. That was the most scary thing. I don't know why I was so scared. Maybe because I regret? I didn't know.

"Oui, mon amour. We can talk. So..."

"Okay, I'll start. Delphine, I got my shit together, you know. I found the job. I am a professor now at the University. I am seeing the therapist you picked for me. She is really good and since I can stop my tantrums, she showed me some pretty good meditation methods. You see, I didn't call you because you asked for time. I understand now. I understand why you were so mad at me. So furious. I acted childish and selfish. I know you did all those things for me, all those two years of sacrifising..."

"Cos-", I wanted to tell her something, but she didn't let me.

"Delphine, wait. I'm not saying that just to say that. I know that you did all this for me, because you wanted to. Because you love me so much. And I haven't been grateful to you. I see that now. During my sickness I was trying to break up with you in order to give you your life back. I didn't think that it hurts you, I just thought that it was the best thing to do. But I just should have thanked you for that. Because I know you would never ever leave me anyways. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Thank you. Thank you so much for all those years. I knew I had PTSD. And I knew my behaviours was because of that, that I wasn't myself. But I should have been more grateful and just... Just be with you. I love you so much, Delphine.", she started sobbing. 

I couldn't stop myself. My tears exploded as well, but I didn't wait any minute longer. I knelt in front of her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I started kissing her hands, her stomach and hugging her to me. 

"Oh Cosima... My sweet Cosima. I'm so sorry too. You are not the only one that should apologize. I shouldn't have been like that for the past four weeks. It was too much. I am so deeply sorry, mon amour. I fucked up too. It was too much for you. I shouldn't have acted like that towards you and I definitely shouldn't have gone out yesterday.", I was sobbing, stroking her cheeks, her soft skin. "You proved me you can do it. You found this amazing job, you're doing so good and I should have been there with you. Just please, my love. Just trust me. Please."

"Delphine, I trust you. I was just showing it in some twisted, childish way. I promise to listen to you. Because for all those years you proved me that you are right when it's about dangerous stuff. You are always right. So begin from today, I will always listen to you. When you say you will handle something, I will be a good partner.", she finished, wiping her tears.

Oh mon Dieu. In that moment, I was the happiest woman on Earth. When I took her into my arms, I had the whole world there, around me. I kissed her sweet lips, holding her tight in my embrance. She returned the kiss with so much love. I felt overwhelmed and so loved. 

"Cosima, I want to start our new life with you. We got new chance, fresh start and I just... I finally wanna be just your partner, not your doctor. Never again. I'm so happy that you are all okay. Cosima, mon amour... Je'taime. So much that sometimes it physically hurts.", I whispered between the kisses.

"I want that too, Delphine. Does that mean you want me back here?", she pulled away from my lips to look at me, but she still stayed in my arms.

"Oui, mon amour. Live with me again.", I leaned to her ear and whispered, the kissed her earlobe. I heard her moan and that was it, I just couldn't contain myself. 

I kissed her lips passionately, pulling her towards me even closer. Oh, I have missed it so much, just having her in my arms, all happy and finally okay. Cosima returned the kiss and she started taking my grey pants off. But I wanted to have her first. I was waiting for so long! I lifted her up and put on the kitchen table, unzipping her jeans in the same time. There was no time for bedroom, our arousal was too strong for wasting time. 

Cosima groaned with pleasure, feeling my impatience and pure lust towards her. She smiled lightly when I finally took her jeans off. My woman was almost laying on the table, I was so close to her. I made her extend her beautiful tanned legs so I could be right where I wanted to be.

"Delphine... You're so hot when you're dominant and so firm...", she chocked the sentence while I was kissing her neck, leaving blood marks and touching her beautiful breasts in the same time.

"I just want you so much.", I said with low, husky voice. I got her there. She let out loud noise and I was pretty sure neighbours heard that but I didn't care at all.

I didn't waste any more time. When I finally reached her core and found out how wet she was, I groaned loudly. Oh merde... That was heaven. Her reaction on my actions was the best thing in the world. I touched her swollen clit and looked at Cosima who was arching her back, begging for more. There was no teasing. Just pure lust.

"Oh my God, Delphine!", she groaned.

"You're so fucking wet, Cosima. Look at me! I want to see your face when you're coming.", I ordered. She did what I told her to do. I inserted two fingers in the same time, she was that wet. 

"Oh yes, Delphine!"

God, I loved when she was calling my name during lovemaking. I sped up, feeling that it was what she wanted. Her face... Oh mon Dieu, her face. I don't know what was that, but when she was focused on my touch, her expression was the most beautiful thing. 

"I want you to come with me.", I heard her voice. 

Cosima was already tearing my underwear apart. She pulled me closer to her and while I was giving her pleasure, her hand found its path to my core. We've never done that before and God, I regret it now. Her moans made me moan louder and my groans made her groan lounder. It was like a circle of lust, neverending story where there are only us and our touch. 

"Oui, mon Dieu! Baise moi, baise moi!", I was screaming between long loud moans. My French was like a spell for her. 

She sped up her actions and I knew I was at the edge. Thank God we had apartment on the 5th floor because people would have interesting view. 

She was so close I felt that. And it turned me on even more. When she let out the loud moan, I did the same thing, because she was the hottest, the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. And when Cosima was so loud, oh God! That was my private, intimate spell on me.

We both were in heaven in the same time. We both saw the universe in the same time. Million stars exploded for me and Cosima. And it was like eternity. I don't think I've ever felt like that in my entire life. When she finally fell on the table, I leaned onto her chest and kissed her neck.

"Oh mon Dieu, I missed this so much...", I whispered. She looked at me and then kissed me softly in the lips.

"Me too. Please, never again. Let's start our life, Delphine."

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, we've come to the end. I wanted to thank all of you, who read my story, especially Luz1979 and Delphines_puppy a.k.a. Elle, who were commenting and supporting me all the time. I also wanted to thank all of you who didn't comment. Next time let me know you are there, because it makes me so happy! 
> 
> Chapter 11 as you can see, is epilogue. I have a new idea for a new fanfic, but if you have some prompts, write to me and I will definitely think about that. You can always find me on Facebook Group called "Cophine Fanfiction". Thank you guys!

**Epilogue**

 

"Move your arse, Felix! This is box with books, not pillows!", Sarah yelled at his foster brother who was standing right in her way. I giggled when I looked at them. What a day! 

"Gee, don't be so angry, Sarah.", Felix spitted, passing her by.

They both came to San Francisco two days ago to help move Cosima's stuff from the center and Mrs. S's house to our flat. I was so excited! We could finally have our new start. I took a day off, because it was Friday, but Cosima had to go to the University to give lectures. In the past week I had a chance to see her there. Merde, that was her real place to be. Not Dyad, not stupid secret shit she had to do, but University where she could teach and dork out with other people, her own students. They adored her there to this point that I was even a little jelaous when one girl came towards her after lecture and tried to ask her out. No way!

Cosima promised to be back at home around 4 pm, so we could have a dinner, all of us. I still remember when I came to see Cosima in front of Bubbles and I couldn't stay. I remember I took a long stare through the window and I saw all those people who are now so close to me. Even Alison with her distance. Even Helena with her obsession about my hair. This time there were supposed to be only me, Cosima, Felix, Sarah, Mrs. S and little Kira who was not so little anymore.

"Oi, Frenchie, where do you want me to put it?", I heard Sarah's voice.

"Oh, je suis desole, ami. In this room next to the bedroom. It's gonna be Cosima's office.", I replied.

"Okay, here you go, lady."

"Thank you so much, Sarah. Is Kira with Mrs. S?", I asked her, unpacking Cosima's books and putting it into shelves.

"Yeah, yeah. They will come over around 6 pm. We are gonna come back to S's flat at 4 and then come here with them.", Sarah let me know. I nodded and then I went to help Felix with my girlfriend's desk.

We were unpacking her stuff till 2:30. Thank God it wasn't a lot. Cosima had her own room in the center, but she didn't have as many stuff as I thought. After all work was done, I ordered a take out from the chinese restaurant and we sat at the kitchen table.

"So, are you excited, Frenchie?", Felix asked.

"Oui, ami. I'm so happy. Do you know what's the best feeling?", I started, eating noodles. "That she will finally stop being my patient. She's just gonna be my Cosima, my partner. I think this is the most important to me right now...", I sighed.

"Have you talked... you know, about what happened?", he asked.

"We have. It's all okay now.", I smiled, blushing. I think that they would throw up if I told them about this legendary kitchen table. They were actually eating at it, so...

"Have you thought about the future, Delphine?"

"Sarah, of course I did. I actually... I was... Is it weird that looking at our past, I was thinking about... real future? You know like wedding, kids? It all sounds so normal, so good. It's almost unbelievable. Looking back like three years ago, I would never think that I am gonna think about that and more even talk with you. How surreal is this?", I asked them. 

"Oh darling, I know what you mean, believe me. It's not mystery that I hated your guts for a long time.", Felix chuckled, but then he groaned because Sarah punched him in the arm. "Ouch! Bollocks, every single time!"

I giggled. "Felix, it's okay. I know that, I know. Is it like... a gay thing to hate for so long?", I chuckled.

"Oh gee, you're good Frenchie!". Sarah burst into laughter and I joined her. Only Felix was sitting there quiet, pretending that he is offended.

They left as they said. After their leaving, I started tidying the flat and trying to put all paper boxes under the bed. I had a moment for myself before Cosima's arrival and the dinner in the evening. I went to the kitchen to make some green tea. I was just boiling the water and looking through the window, while I felt two sneaky arms around my waist. I shivered but only for a moment, because I knew it was her. 

I turned around and I met her soft, loving lips. Cosima broke the kiss and then leaned towards my chest and hugged me. 

"Hey, mon amour.", I whispered.

"Hello you. How was your day?", Cosima asked.

"Oh, just unpacking your stuff. Me, Sarah and Felix put everything in the flat, then we tried to unpack it and after they left, I cleaned the flat.", I explained.

"God, you are so cute.", she smiled to me. I replied with the same smile. "You did all work, did you?", Cosima grinned.

"Oui, I did. I was bored anyway, just waiting for you so why not to clean.", I smiled to my girlfriend. "Cosima... Isn't it weird feeling?", I asked.

"What do you mean?", she asked confused.

"You know, this, us. I mean, I am so happy to finally be with you. But it's so weird, so good-weird feeling to normally be with you, you know? After Dyad, clones, Castor and Leda, it is so surreal. I'm scared that... I'm scared I'm gonna wake up from this beautiful dream and you''re not gonna be here...", I sighed, feeling tears gathered in the eyes. "Or what if you don't love me anymore? Cosima, you didn't have a chance to get to know me... My domestic side, this normal part of me that cooks, cleans, that takes care of stuff. What if you don't like this side, Cosima?", I asked.

"Hey, Delphine. Look at me, baby. I am here and this is real.", as she said it, she took my hand and put it on her chest, where I could feel her heartbeat. "Do you feel it, Del? My heart beats for you. We handled it, do you know that? All this shit, we did it. And we are still in this together. I know you don't believe in destiny and all that stuff, but I know that we were meant to be. I am sure that I will just love your domestic side. God, you have no idea how I loved our conversation about the future. Delphine, I want that so bad. I want our normal, boring, happy life. We will have that now. And now nobody will take me away from you, do you understand that?", she asked, her tears were already falling down.

I chocked the air, because I couldn't believe in our happiness. I reached her beautiful angelic face, wiped her tears and then I kissed her.

"I understand mon amour. I love you so much, Cosima...", I whispered, touching her cheek, stroking it back and forth.

"I love you too, Del.", she replied. She gave me one last kiss before she pulled away. "Okay, my lady. Let's prepare some food because they are gonna be here soon. I don't know if I told you, but I make killer spaghetti!", she grinned. Oh, how I adored her.

"Really? Well, then we will make this famous spaghetti. But we need to go to the grocery store, mon amour. You're gonna take care of spaghetti, I'm gonna take care of salad and appetizers. Does that sound good?", I asked, kissing her forehead.

"Oh yes!", she clasped her hands. 

We took our coats on, I took my purse and moment later we were in the car. I decided to drive. I took a mental note to talk to Cosima about the car. She will have to have her own since she works in completely different direction of the city than the center is. While I was driving, I couldn't help, I put my hand on her thigh and I was stroking her body back and forth. It was very loving gesture and she knew that. Cosima looked at me and smiled, then took my hand in hers. 

I parked in front of the supermarket and then hurried to Cosima's door to open it in front of her.

"Wow, how gentlemen of you, dr. Cormier.", she teased me. I only chuckled, then took her hand and we aimed the store. 

Thank God I made a shopping list before, because Cosima was looking around, not probably know what exactly we should take. She was so cute. 

"Well, well, isn't it good I wrote everything down?", I asked, smiling to her.

"Hm, of course. After all you are the master of making the shopping list if you know what I mean...", she teased me, stroking my hip with her free hand. Of course I knew what she meant. I remember this moment in our lab, where I was writing everything down and she was so cute to just tease me about it. 

"I definitely know.", I replied then kissed her forehead. "Okay, mon amour, let's check fresh basil. We need that to your sauce."

While we were looking at the green spice, something happened. Something that I should definitely predict, but I didn't think it was gonna happen that soon. I mean what are the chances that ex-girlfriend is doing shopping in the same store as you and your girlfriend. I froze when I heard that soft, nice voice. Well, she has a nice voice, I must admit.

"Hi, Cosima.", Shay said. She still didn't see me because I was turned to the vegetables, but when I turned my head and stood behind Cosima, she froze and then just shivered. Before she had a chance to say something or just escape, I kissed Cosima's cheek.

"Hi, Shay. I will let you two talk. I'm gonna look for good tomatoes.", I said with the nicest and the safest voice I could afford.

I wasn't surprised that she was scared. Merde, I would be scared of me too if I were her. I did an awful thing to her and it was unforgivable. Although I myself left Cosima with Shay, I felt a wave of jelaousy going through my body. I actually never asked Cosima how it all ended up with Shay. Did she just break up with her? Did Shay even talk to her? Did Cosima tell her about the Dyad after Shay showed her a card from me? I was beyond curious, especially that we met her. 

The one was sure. Shay was a sweet girl and she just picked the wrong time, the wrong place and the wrong girl. Merde, she just had a bad luck. I found the piles with tomatoes but I still could looked at them two. They weren't close to each other. Shay didn't see me, but I could see her perfectly well. I never actually took a time to look at her as at a woman. I only saw an enemy in her, a traitor and possible monitor. Now I had a time and I must admit. She was very like Cosima. The similar style of clothing, petite form, very slim and just... Cute. Oui, that word suited her the best. Her baby blue eyes were hidden by round glasses I've never seen before. Shay was just a beautiful woman and I had to admit it even if it was very awful for me to say - if I didn't know her and didn't have Cosima, I would definitely turn around after her. 

I saw how Shay was leaning towards Cosima, but she didn't kiss her. She just squeezed her shoulder, then turned around. She saw me in the very last moment, but this time, she just nodded and smiled lightly. I replied with a smile and then looked after her. Her poncho wasn't as long as I thought it was. Her tight jeans showed too much for my taste, but well... She made a goal.

"Hey, are you just checking my ex-girlfiend out?!", I heard Cosima's puff. I immidiately blushed in a colour of crimson and turned my all attention to my girlfriend.

"Non, non... Okay, fine. I am sorry, I was just thinking that... that you two fitted.". I admitted. "Well... what happened?"

"You're dying from the curiosity, aren't you?", she started teasing me. 

Okay, if she wants to play games, I can play along with her own weapon. I gave her my most beautiful smile, then leaned towards her until my lips were brushing her earlobe. The shop basket covered the actions my free hand did. I simply reached Cosima's core and although she had her boho jeans, I could hear her light hiss when I put my hand there. I kissed her earlobe, my hot breath made her groan into my shoulder. Thank God there wasn't so many people in the store and thank God I had this basket. 

"Well, I am curious. And you, Ms. Niehaus, if you don't tell me, I will never finish what I just started.", I whispered with my best, the lowest, husky voice. She looked at me and then I saw that in her eyes and I smiled with triumph.

"Oh, you know what to do to me, do you? Now I will tell you everything.", she grinned and kissed my shoulder. 

"Oui, mon amour. So, what did she say? We actually never talked about her. Did you break up with her?", I asked.

"No, Delphine, we are still together. She's gonna come over today to sleep with us.", she said with completely serious face. After a moment she burst into laughter.

"Ha ha, very funny, Cosima.", I said, putting all our items in front of the shop assistant. We were already at the cash register. 

"Well, of course I broke up with her. I met her today for the first time after two years, Delphine.", Cosima started. "She was very very surprised I am with you. That's why she reacted that way."

"I'm not shocked at all. After what I did to her... I am such a monster.", I mumbled.

"Oh no, she is not scared of you.", Cosima said. We already paid and now we were packing items to the car. I sat beside the steering wheel and turn the engine on. 

"How come?", I asked.

"Well, maybe she is a little. I think she didn't expect you to be alive... You see, after you dissapeared, I was desperate. I was looking for you...", Cosima sighed.

"Mon amour, we don't have to talk about it.", I said softly.

"No, Del, it's okay. Don't worry, I am not gonna have an attack anymore.", she joked. "Anyways, after you dissapeard, she called me. I thought she was never gonna call again, but she did. She told me you gave her this weird card and she didn't expect anything, but she said I just should know. I was shocked, but I came over her flat. When I saw this card, I was almost sure it was a goodbye and I just burst into tears when I saw that. She hugged me and helped me to calm down, I was a wreck. When I finally calmed down, she asked me if I ever loved her...", Cosima said.

Although I was driving, I had to look at her. No, non. I was so scared to ask about that. I was thinking about that so many times and I never asked. 

"Did you?", I whispered.

"Delphine, I'm not gonna lie. I did love her. But before you freak out, you need to know that. I loved her in some way, but I was never IN actual love with her. Do you understand?", Cosima asked. I smiled, I was so relieved. I nodded and let her continue. "Shay already knew the truth and I didn't want to lie to her. I told her the same thing I just told you. She understood. Then she asked me if I still love you. Of course I did love you. I told her that but I also told her that I might never see you again. I apologized to her again after what I told you to do to her. She accepted it. Shay didn't force me to talk about this card you gave her. But I decided that she should know the truth, because I did care about her and she deserved to know it." 

"And... How did she react?", I asked, turning left.

"Well, I didn't tell her everything. I did skip the whole information with the clone shit. I told her I work for this huge science corporation. I also told her that I am sick and there is no cure so you are my doctor and we are trying to find a cure. I told her that Dyad has a lot of enemies, that we even have enemies because of those researches and our studies so we are in danger all the time. I explained to her that you thought Shay was a spy because of her past in military and we needed to check you. She understood why you acted that way. Then we just said our goodbyes. Shay told me I can still contact her if I feel the need and she told me she feels you were gonna be okay. And well... She was right.", Cosima smiled to me. 

We were in front of our apartment. I turned the engine off, but we didn't get out straight away. 

"I understand. I felt you were gonna tell her. And I think that too, I think she deserved that.", I smiled and kissed my girlfriend. 

So she knew. Shay probably reacted that way, because she thought I was dead. Because Cosima thought that way. And although Shay felt that I was gonna be okay somehow, she was still shocked. 

After the conversation, we just took our groceries and aimed our flat. Preparing the food was the funniest and cutest thing we ever did. I ever did. God, I missed this so much. Cosima was right, her spaghetti was the best I've ever eaten. While making food, we opened the bottle of wine and taking sips from time to time. Right at 6 p.m. the doorbell rang. I wiped my hands into kitchen rag and opened the door.

"Hello, love.", Mrs. S hugged me tight when she saw me. "I brought something special for you. Jack!", she started laughing.

"Oh no, you did it on purpose. Cosima told you about my unfortunate night two weeks ago!", I smiled.

"Of course she told us.", Felix laughed along with S. "Anyways, just keep it and have for the special ocassion.", he explained. I took the bottle from them and put it into the counter with alcohols.

That was when I noticed the petite figure behind Sarah. It was a little Kira who was almost the teenager. I haven't seen her for over a year, because I didn't have time to leave Cosima and when Sarah was coming over, she used to leave Kira with her dad. 

"Hi, Delphine.", she said with a little smile.

"Hello, Kira. How are you?", I asked, giving her a hug.

"I'm good. I, um... I want to talk to you when we are alone. Can we?"

"Oui, of course, mon coeur. Everything okay?", I was confused. I knew she was special, she knew a lot of "adult" things, but I always felt... nervous, when I was talking to her. 

"Yes, don't worry, Delphine. We will talk later.", she smiled and went to say hi to Cosima.

When food was prepared, everybody gathered around the table. They just loved Cosima's meal and I think I was the only one who didn't have it before. Felix was joking all the time and I was grateful. I was nervous somehow and I didn't even know why. I knew these people for over two years. All of them knew me as well. Maybe it was this... domescity? Probably. I had a feeling that it's temporary, but of course I was wrong. This dinner, this small family gathering, it was just a beginning. I couldn't stop my grin when I thought about it, because God... that was beautiful. I looked at Cosima, who was sitting right next to me. She was so lovely, she had her hand on my thigh all the time, so it would remind me I am not alone in this. She gave me smile back and kissed my cheek.

"Oi, why are you grinning, Frenchie?", Sarah asked. 

"Oh, ami... Actually I wanted to make a toast.", I started, blushing and standing up with a glass of wine in the same time. "I wanted to thank you all for coming over. I know couple people are missed, but to be honest... With four of you - Sarah, Felix, Mrs. S and Kira, I have the best contact. You guys became my family when I didn't have one. You didn't have to trust me, but you did. And althought someone and by saying someone I mean Felix...", I chuckled. He smiled to me and raised his glass. "didn't like me at first, I feel like I have your full acceptance now. You helped me with Cosima, you helped me take care of her. Siobhan became my second mom, becaue she is so close now. Thank you, all of you. You have no idea how glad and excited I am, thinking about our future. Not only my and Cosima, but future of us all. I can finally think about Christmas, New Year's Eve and other things like birthdays... Now I know I am gonna have the love of my life right next to me. She will not be in the center, she can finally be with us, with me all the time. Let's drink to that and our normal life.", I raised the glass. I noticed Siobhan's tears and smiled to her.

Everything was like it was supposed to be. When I sat back, Cosima couldn't stop herself, she just wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me towards her. She gave me a kiss full of love and then hugged me tight.

"It was beautiful, baby.", she whispered to my ear. "I love you so much."

"Je'taime, mon amour.", I replied.

"Oi, oi, lovebirds! When is the wedding?", Sarah chuckled.

"Sarah, contain yourself, please!", Siobhan said.

"Oh come on, mom. Like they haven't talked about it..."

"Well actually we haven't...", I mumbled. I looked at Cosima whom face was a colour of my red blouse.

"Oooopsie... "

"God, mommy, you always have to say something like that, don't you?", Kira giggled, looking at her mom.

"It's okay, ami. Do you guys want some dessert? I made pie.", I offered. I was trying to change the subject, because let's be honest. I didn't want to have this conversation with all of them, but only with Cosima. Oui, we did talk about the future, but we haven't talked with details. 

"Yes, please. Thank you, Del.", Kira smiled.

After all food was eaten, we went to the living room to just drink wine and talk. I was standing next to the alcohol counter and observing the love of my life, who was talking to Felix and laughing all the time. My old Cosima came back, my cheeky, loving, joking Cosima was standing there, in our new flat. Single tear fell down my cheek when I thought about her. I smiled to myself, wiping it with my thumb.

"You really love her, do you?", young voice asked, taking me back to the reality. I turned my head and looked at Kira, who was standing right next to me.

"Oui, I do. I love her more than anything in the world, Kira. I'm so happy they finally understood that.", I nodded at Felix and her mom.

"I know. I knew from the start though.", she admitted. "I knew you were lost Del and you made mistake, but I never doubted you love my aunt. Now I'm looking at her and I know she is beyond happy to finally be with you."

"Oh, thank you Kira. That is so nice for you to say.", I smiled warmly to her, squeezing her shoulder.

"I want to give her everything.", I sighed.

"Yes, Delphine. And you know... You should do it. You should ask her to marry you. I know you guys are forever. She will be even happier to be your wife.", Kira said. I looked at her, shocked. I didn't even tell her that this thought crossed my mind, but she knew. Then I looked at my love again. She caught my staring and tried to come forward me. "Think about it, Del.", Kira added, then kissed my cheek and left me with Cosima who was already standing next to me.

"Hmm, what were you guys talking about?", she murmured into my chest, wrapping her arms around me. I loved when she was doing that.

"Stuff, my love.", I replied. 

"Oh really? Care to share?", she teased. 

"Hmm, non.", I grinned, kissing the tip of her nose. "But don't worry, my love.", I started, looking straight into her beautiful eyelinered eyes hidden behind glasses. "You're gonna know very soon, mon amour.", I said and then kissed my beautiful gilrfriend, my lovely partner who was the best thing that ever happened to me. It was the time to start our real, peaceful life.

 


End file.
